


Ten Count-BTS Edition

by Yoonminny



Category: Ten Count, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Abandonment, Aftercare, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Butt Plugs, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Counseling, Counselor Min Yoongi, Dom/sub, Dubious Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, Extremely Dubious Consent, Falling In Love, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff, Gay, Gay Sex, Hand Jobs, Heavy Angst, I Love You, M/M, Masturbation, Min Yoongi - Freeform, Multiple Orgasms, OCD, Oohhh, Oral Sex, Orgasm Control, Orgasm Denial, Overstimulation, Power Dynamics, Secretary - Freeform, Secretary Park Jimin (BTS), Semi-Public Sex, Shameless Smut, Smut, Trauma, Underage Masturbation, Unhealthy Relationships, bonus stories, germaphobia, ill add more tags as this goes on, implied young sexual content, it gets healthier though, kind of not consensual, oops we fell in love, park jimin - Freeform, power difference, therapist, this is getting fluffy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-06-28 13:10:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 36,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19812964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yoonminny/pseuds/Yoonminny
Summary: Corporate secretary Jimin suffers from obsessive-compulsive disorder. One day he meets Yoongi, a therapist who offers to take him through a ten-step program to cure him of his compulsion. As the two go through each of the ten steps, Jimin’s attraction to his counselor grows.





	1. Contaminated

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Ten Count](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/498736) by Rihito Takarai. 



> THIS IS A COVER/PARODY/REMIX OF A MANGA. I DO NOT TAKE CREDIT FOR THE IDEA OF THIS STORY OR IT'S STORYLINE. CREDIT GOES TO RIHITO TAKARAI AND SUBLIME MANGA. 
> 
> I basically wanted to twist this story into the hands of two of the BTS members. I've added more dialogue and bits of information that relate to the story, so some of this is my own work, but a lot of it is still from the original. I might get reported for this. I really hope I don't get in trouble though. I just saw this as a good writing idea and I thought others would like it as well. 
> 
> Just to reiterate:  
> I DO NOT TAKE CREDIT FOR THIS STORY. 
> 
> Thank you! :)

_ Contaminated.  _

Everything in the world is dirty. 

Subway handles. Doorknobs. Phones. Slippers. The air shared with other people.

  
  


_ It’s hard to breathe.  _

But hard or not, it isn’t as if I’m suddenly going to suffocate and die. If I don’t want to touch things, I simply needn’t touch them. I can live my life perfectly well...without any major inconveniences. 

“Mr. Hyungwoo,” Jimin looks down at the planner in his hands, “Next on your schedule… you have a business lunch with Tamaru Commercial at one o’clock. At three, you return to the office for a meeting. Among the emails that arrived today-”

Jimin gets cut off by a loud buzzing from Hyungwoo’s phone. 

“Ah. One moment.” 

Hyungwoo climbs out of the car, holding the phone to his ear. 

“It’s me. Yes, I’m out right now.”

“Mr. Hyungwoo, please watch for any oncoming traffic,” Jimin alerts. 

“I will,” he says, dismissing him with a wave of his hand as he continues to talk on the phone. “Yes, about that. I’m sure that discussion will take quite some time, so how about we-”

Jimin watches as he faces away from traffic, not taking his advice at all. That’s when he glances up and sees a truck driver coming on the opposite side of the road, seemingly distracted by his phone. 

“Oh, yes. That was mentioned the other day, but-” 

“MR. HYUNGWOO!” 

“Hm?”

Everything happens way too fast. The brakes from the truck are loud. Anyone within a miles radius could hear the loud ‘screech’ that it emits. Hyungwoo is lucky that a passerby got there just in time to pull him out of the way.

  
  
  
  


“You have a minor fracture to your patella. This isn’t an injury that typically warrants an overnight stay, but since it can make everyday life highly inconvenient for a time without anyone to assist you...and as you are a single gentleman, I’d recommend a short stay. That will also allow us to monitor your progress,” the doctor explains before he opens the curtain and steps out, giving Jimin a curt nod. 

Jimin takes this as an okay for him to step in and see Mr. Hyungwoo. 

“What a day!” Hyungwoo says a little enthusiastically for someone who just broke their knee. 

“Yes, sir. It’s a small miracle that you escaped with only a fall,” Jimin says, eyeing the heavy-looking cast around his knee. 

“True. But to come away with broken bones?” He sighs and shakes his head, “I must be getting old.”

“What will you do about your duties starting tomorrow, sir?”

“For now I’ll leave the routine decisions in your hands, Jimin. I don’t have any big meetings for a few days. Please tell our clients that...I’m on an extended business trip.” 

Jimin chuckles a bit at this, “I will do that, sir.”

“As for the exhibition next week…” 

With planner in hand again, Jimin starts to tweak the week's schedule to Hyungwoo’s liking. 

“Excuse me.” 

Both Jimin and Hyungwoo turn to see a man with black hair and a cold-resting face standing in the doorway. It’s the passerby who saved him from the truck driver just a while ago. 

“Is it okay if I go? I need to get to work,” he says, shoving his hands in his pockets. 

“Oh, yes. Yoongi...was it? I’m sorry to have kept you. Thank you. You saved me today.” Hyungwoo bows slightly from his position on the examing table. 

This...Yoongi. He was in the right place at the right time. He had hopped off his bike faster than Jimin leaped out of the car and yanked Mr. Hyungwoo out of the way. Yoongi and Hyungwoo were both out of breath in front of the car when Jimin ran out, panicking as he asked if everything was alright. 

“I owe you my life. I’d like a chance to repay you. What’s the best way for me to get in touch with you?” 

Yoongi shifts slightly, as if he is annoyed...or uncomfortable. “I don’t need any thanks, sir. Besides, it’s my fault you broke your kneecap. I’m very sorry about that. Please take care of yourself. Have a nice day.” He bows before leaving the room. 

“W-wait a minute! This won’t do at all.”

Jimin stands near the corner of the room, just staring at where Yoongi was a few seconds ago. 

“After him!"

“Sir?” 

“Go!” 

Jimin scurries out of the room in the direction of the elevators. 

_ If he wants to leave why not just let him?  _

“Excuse me! Please wait a moment.” 

Yoongi turns and looks at Jimin with a blank face. 

“My name is…” He pulls a business card from his vest pocket, “Park Jimin. I’m the secretary for the gentleman you saved today- Kim Hyungwoo, the CEO of the Tosawa Company.”

Yoongi takes the business card from Jimin’s gloved hands and stares down at it. 

“Please… What you did today was far too great for us to not offer any form of gratitude in return. Allow me to echo Mr. Hyungwoo in asking for-”

“You’re germophobic, aren’t you?” 

Jimin’s eyes widen and he reels back a bit out of surprise. The elevator dings and the doors slide open but Yoongi doesn’t step on. 

“And it seems severe. If you haven’t already, I’d suggest seeing a doctor.” He looks back towards the elevator before continuing. “I said this earlier but...what I did really wasn’t enough to deserve any thanks.” 

“How did you…? We just met! How can you tell not just my condition but that it’s severe?” Jimin asks, a little irritated that some random stranger thinks he can just call things out. 

Yoongi’s eyes fall down to Jimin’s hands. “Your gloves. I can see blood spots seeping through the seams. I figured that meant you were a compulsive hand washer. So much that your hands have become chapped and raw.” 

“It...it isn’t  _ that  _ bad. I don’t mind it. I don’t see any need to get...better.” 

“If you see a counselor now, there’s a good chance-” 

“Just mind your own business!!” Jimin yells. 

_ Oh no.  _

That was bad. 

“I uh, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. Er…” 

_ What got into me? This is just a casual conversation between strangers. How could I let it get to me so much that I yelled?  _ _ All I had to do was act like I do at work.  _

Jimin clears his throat, “If you happen to change your mind...please feel free to call the number on the card.” 

_ It would have been just fine if I had stayed calm and professional.  _

Today was a terrible day. 

  
  


~

  
  


Back at his apartment, Jimin sighs as he locks the door behind him. 

_ The day is finally over.  _

He slips off his jacket and removes his vest, tie, and shoes. He sets his clothes in a basket that is on the entryway table. 

_ Seriously. Step outside, and it’s nothing but unpleasantness and annoyances.  _

He drops his gloves into a trash bin by the door before heading to the bathroom to disinfect everything he took out with him and himself. 

Setting his phone and keys on the counter, he starts scrubbing his hands. The antibacterial soap burns the raw skin on his hands but Jimin has convinced himself that it's just the feeling of all the germs burning away. 

_ “Just mind your own business!” _

Yelling at a complete stranger is something Jimin never does, so an outburst like this today really surprised him. 

_ After that...I doubt he’d call. Though it won’t negatively reflect on my job… That was still the first time I’ve ever taken an attitude with someone I’ve just met.  _

Jimin looks down at his hands. The scabbed and irritated skin disgusts him. If he could, he’d wear gloves all the time. 

_ The reason I snapped was… _

It was because Jimin was angry with himself. Angry because he hesitated to reach out his hand to Mr. Hyungwoo at that moment. Even though someone he cared about was in danger, he worried about the germs that would contaminate him if he even dared to touch someone’s bare hand. 

_ I wasn’t lying when I said I don’t feel the need to get better. This is just the way I am. This is my normal.  _

But sometimes...on days like this one...it’s so hard to breathe. 

  
  


_ “If you see a counselor now, there’s a good chance-” _

A good chance of what? That he'll finally be able to breathe easily? 

Jimin hesitantly reaches for his phone with Yoongi’s words ringing in his head. He pulls up Google and looks up the nearest Psychiatric center. Of course, it’s closed right now, but they open at 10 am. Jimin sighs and sets his phone back down. 

_ Should I really seek help? Do I need it?  _

Being afraid of germs everywhere in the world has been with Jimin as long as he can remember. It just seems...normal now. He’s used to it. So why should he seek help? It's not like it's stopping him from doing the things he needs to. 

  
  
  
  
  


The next morning, Jimin finds himself in front of Shimada Psychiatric Center. There’s a tight feeling in his chest as he stares at the sign. Going for psychiatric help is so taboo in society that he feels out of place. Like he doesn’t belong there. He shouldn’t be here. 

_ A psychiatric clinic… This is harder than I thought.  _

Jimin doesn’t have an appointment and clinics like this usually don’t accept walk-ins. 

_ I should come some other time.  _

Just as he’s about to turn around, he hears the brakes from a bicycle right behind him. He turns and meets a set of familiar eyes. 

Yoongi. 

“Ah, you…” Jimin points at Yoongi and awkwardly watches as he gets off his bike. “Er! Th-thank you..for, uh...for your help…” 

_ Why is he here? Does he have an appointment at this clinic? _

“What brings you here?” Yoongi asks. “Are you having second thoughts about your condition?”

“Are you also coming to this clinic for some kind of treatment?” 

Yoongi scoffs, a small smile coming to his face, “Me? No. I work here. I’m a counselor.” 

_ Wait…  _

WHAAT?!

Now it makes sense why Yoongi suggested Jimin get help. He’s a counselor. He can tell when someone has a certain condition. Especially since Jimin’s is so  _ severe.  _

“UH! I-I think I’m going to go home today after all,” Jimin stutters. 

Just as he tries to dash away, Yoongi throws his hand out in front of him. 

“Wait.” 

Jimin’s eyes widen at the hand that is so close to the front of him.  _ Oh god.  _

“It’s okay. I won’t touch you.” 

It feels like his heart is about to beat out of his chest. Just the small chance of someone almost touching him could send Jimin into a panic attack. 

“I understand it can take courage to make an official appointment with a psychiatrist. If you’re okay with it… Why don’t you come and chat with me at a cafe instead?” 

  
  
  
  


Within just a few minutes, Jimin finds himself in a cafe with Yoongi. 

“Here you go sir,” the waitress says as she sets a drink in front of Jimin. 

Yoongi stirs his drink with a straw while Jimin just stares at his own. 

_ This cup… Has it been cleaned properly?  _

“Are you okay with going to restaurants?” Yoongi asks. 

“No...not really. I may go to one with other people but I never touch any food or drink.” 

“I see.” 

_ Great. This has certainly taken a strange turn. _

First of all, how does someone as curt and emotionless as this guy even manage to be a counselor? 

“Park Jimin. I know this is sudden, but may I ask you some questions?”

Jimin looks up from his hands in his lap, “Um. Sure. But...I know this is a bit late, but don’t you have to go into work today, Yoongi?”

“Nope. I have today off. I came to the office because I forgot something there,” Yoongi takes a sip of his drink. Jimin can’t help but feel uncomfortable just watching someone enjoy a drink when they have no idea what could have gotten into it. “Okay. My turn next. You don’t have to answer any question you don’t want to.”

“All right.” There were more things Jimin wanted to ask him but…

“Have you ever seen a counselor or undergone treatment for your condition before?” 

“No.”

“Have you ever made an attempt to do something about your condition yourself?”

“Not really. I’ve always considered this to be just the way I am,” Jimin clasps his hands in his lap. “There were a few times when I thought I might check out a self-help book out of curiosity...but I could never actually manage to purchase a book from a bookstore and carry it home. Just the thought that someone else might have touched it disgusts me.” 

Jimin doesn’t even notice that Yoongi has pulled out a notebook and is taking notes. 

“I see. Do you have aversions to any other specific actions or places?” 

“Yes. Many. Almost everything outside of my home is unpleasant to me. There is a small range of things I can tolerate for work though. Mr. Hyungwoo, you met him yesterday. He’s my boss. He’s very understanding of my condition, so I’m able to work enough to support myself.”

Yoongi nods and continues to scribble things down, “Interesting. Next… When did you realize you had germaphobia and obsessive-compulsive disorder?”

“I don’t remember.”

“Do you have any idea what may have caused them?”

Jimin shakes his head, “No…”

“I see. Jimin. Did you bring a notebook or piece of paper with you today?”

Jimin takes out the planner/notebook he carries with him everywhere. He places a napkin down on the table before he sets the notebook down. 

“Okay. What I’d like for you do to do is list the numbers one to ten on a blank page and then write down ten actions or activities you have an aversion to. Number one should be something you think you could manage with a little effort while number ten should be something you don’t think you could ever do.”

Staring down at the blank page, Jimin doesn’t even know where to begin. Yoongi must sense this. 

“For example, how do you feel about touching the handle of the door to this cafe bare-handed?”

“Huh?” A rush of panic flies through Jimin’s body. “Umm...perhaps if it’s been cleaned with rubbing alcohol first. But even then I would rather not.”

“Okay. Put that as number one. Take as much time as you want. Just try to fill in as many lines as you can.”

Yoongi leans back in his chair, watching as Jimin picks up the pen and starts to fill out the lines. The feeling of Yoongi’s eyes on him makes him feel uncomfortable as if he’s back in school taking a test. 

Time goes by slowly as Jimin tries his hardest to come up with ten things. He's staring at a blank number ten when Yoongi finally speaks up. 

“Are you done?”

“Er…”

“Let me see.” Jimin turns the notebook around so Yoongi can read it. “So only number ten is still blank. Oh well. We can leave that one blank for now. Next, what I want is for you to try these behaviors together with me. We’ll do them one at a time, starting with number one, and only move on to the next when you’re comfortable with the previous.” 

Jimin gasps, “WHAT?”

“Have you heard of exposure-response prevention therapy? It’s a behavior therapy for people with your condition. When you can do number ten on your list...you will be completely cured,” Yoongi says, crossing his arms on the table. 

“...Yoongi. We just met. We hardly know each other. Why are you doing all this for me?”

He’s silent for a second. “Would I seem weird if I said I didn’t have a reason?”

“Yes. Extremely. Almost creepy, in fact. After all, we’re practically strangers.”

Yoongi lets out a light-hearted laugh, and the smile on his face surprises Jimin. “Good. I like people who can be brutally honest.” He shrugs, “All right then. If you want to know, I’ll tell you my reason on the day you fill in number ten.”

How will a ten step program magically cure Jimin? It sounds almost...impossible. He’s been so content with the fact that this is just part of his personality, so trying to battle it makes him a bit uncomfortable. 

When Jimin looks up from the notebook, he notices he’s being stared at. 

“What is it?”

“I just realized I haven’t fully introduced myself. I’m Min Yoongi. I work at the Shimada Psychiatric Center four days a week. I have Thursdays, Saturdays, and Sundays off. I live in Daegu. I’m not technically on the job now...but let me give this to you anyway.” 

Yoongi slides his business card across the table towards Jimin. He just stares down at it, afraid to pick it up. 

“Oh. If you want, you can just take a picture of it and throw the card away.” 

“Why tell me all this?” Jimin asks. 

“If you see me as just a stranger, that can have a negative effect on your therapy. I figured I ought to open up so that you could begin to trust me.” 

Jimin can’t help but chuckle at this, “Did it bother you when I said you seemed creepy?”

“Yes.”

“Given your lack of reaction, I thought it hadn’t fazed you at all,” Jimin says, motioning towards his facial expressions, which remind him of a brick. 

“I mentioned this in passing earlier but I’m not on the job right now. I brought this up of my own volition and am doing it in my free time. Therefore, I won’t ask you to visit the clinic formally in any capacity.”

Jimin narrows his eyes, a little confused on why Yoongi is just  _ doing this  _ because he can. 

“And a consulting fee?”

“None, of course.”

“But, I can’t just-”

“Instead…” Yoongi cuts him off, “I want you to be my friend.”

This catches Jimin totally off guard.  _ Did he just… _

“This won’t be therapy. It’s just one friend giving a few personal tips to another. That should take care of any problems. However, if you still feel this is strange and  _ creepy _ -”

Jimin can’t help but break into a fit of laughter. All of this just seems even weirder than before and the seriousness from Yoongi just makes it funnier to him. 

Yoongi stares at Jimin, his expression not changing at all, as he nearly falls out of his chair from laughing. 

“That...doesn’t make it  _ any  _ less strange! If anything, it makes it even worse!” Jimin wipes a tear away from his eye as he tries to calm his giggles. “Bfft! I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone ask to be my friend… Especially not someone who looked so disinterested! Not once!” 

It’s quiet once Jimin finally stops laughing and he finds Yoongi still sitting there with a straight face. 

“You laughed.”

“Oh, uh…” an awkwardness fills the air around them. 

Yoongi chuckles, “It’s okay. That means you’re starting to relax.”

Jimin smiles a bit at this. Maybe he is relaxing. Yoongi's presence has a nice feeling to it, even if he puts out a cold disposition. 

“Um… I can see things.”

Yoongi looks at Jimin with a confused expression and that’s when he realizes how weird that probably sounds. As if he was saying he could see ghosts. 

“Things like dirt, smudges, handprints-things that other people can’t. On one hand, I can’t help but be disgusted by them, but on the other… I have to wonder why I can’t just ignore them… Why I can’t see and feel things like normal people do. In that way, I’m a little strange, I guess.” Jimin looks up and smiles at Yoongi, “Now I see that you’re a little strange yourself, Yoongi. So, I’ll be your friend.”

“We should probably leaving soon,” Yoongi says, switching the subject as if it never happened.

“Uh, okay.”

“I may have today off, but what about you? Do you need to get to work?” 

Jimin shakes his head, “I have today off as well. Wearing gloves with casual clothing makes me stand out more than I’d like, so I tend to wear a suit and tie whenever I have to go outside.” He closes up his notebook and holds it in his hands. 

“Do you want to start today? Your list. We could do number one,” Yoongi says, motioning towards the notebook in Jimin’s hands. “There aren’t many people in here right now. If you stand around in a doorway, I doubt anyone would notice. What do you think?”

“W-what? You want to start  _ now _ ?” Jimin is pretty sure the perspiration on his forehead is visible. His eyes dart towards the door of the cafe. He can just  _ feel  _ how gross the handle is from across the place. “Could I, er...wipe it down with rubbing alcohol first?” 

“No,” Yoongi answers curtly. 

“So...I have to touch it barehanded?”

“Yes.” 

This is only number one on the list and it feels like the hardest things he’s ever had to do in his life. 

“Um...I will, uh...consider...it”

“Excellent.” Yoongi stands up from the table and heads toward the counter. “I’ll take as long as I can to pay the cashier. Please use that time to walk out the door.”

“Huh?! Wait!”

_ I’m still considering… _

“That will be 14,880 won, sir.”

“I think I have change...umm…” Yoongi purposefully drops his money on the ground, “Oops, excuse me a sec…” He looks up to see Jimin standing near the door, visibly panicking. 

“Thank you, please come again,” the cashier says. 

“Excuse me, where is your men’s room?”

He’s dedicated himself to distracting the cashier like he said he would. 

_ It’s all right. It isn’t dirty. It isn’t covered in germs.  _

Jimin tries to convince himself that it’s clean, even though he can  _ see  _ the dirt and grime on the handle. He holds his breath as he grasps onto the handle and yanks the door open, throwing himself out of it and running towards the sidewalk. He nearly topples over when he makes it out. With hands on his knees, he tries to calm his breathing and erratic heart. 

“Well done,” Yoongi randomly appears behind Jimin, as if he just followed him out. 

“The...the cashier. She was staring at me with a funny look on her face,” Jimin gasps, out of breath from simply opening a door. 

“No she wasn’t. That’s just your imagination. That was very well done though. Now all you need to do is refrain from washing your hands. Like I explained to you earlier, in E.R.P. therapy, you need to both perform the trigger behavior  _ and  _ avoid doing the escape response afterwards. Otherwise, it doesn’t work.”

“I understand.”

Jimin looks down at his hands. His bare hands that just touched a bare door handle. One that probably hasn’t been cleaned in a while. 

“Do your hands feel gross?”

“Yes, very.” Just the thought of leaving them dirty makes his stomach clench in a horrible way.

“Don’t wash them. They aren’t dirty,” Yoongi says.

“Can I at least put my gloves back on?”

“For now, yes. Though I’d like for you to gradually stop wearing them.”

Jimin clutches the glove he had taken off his right hand in his left. He can’t wear these again. They touched his dirty hand. The contamination has spread to them now. 

_ I have to throw these away as soon as possible. Thank goodness I have a spare pair in my bag. _

“Okay. I’ll see you here next week. At 2 P.M,” Yoongi says, getting on his bike. 

“Okay.”

“We’ll see how you’re feeling that day before deciding if we should try doing number two and up.”

Jimin watches as Yoongi leaves, walking his bike down the sidewalk. He quickly looks back down at his hands. 

_ Through all these open sores on my hands...all sorts of germs could be infecting me right now.  _

No. No they aren’t. That isn’t happening. I’m fine. I’m just fine.

  
  


Somehow...he managed to resist the urge to disinfect his hands the entire way home. At first, it felt really disgusting...but that feeling slowly went away. 

_ I...I can do this. Well, this much at least. _

_ Wow. That was much easier than I thought.  _

__

Jimin visits Hyungwoo in the hospital later that day. The halls are filled with nurses and visitors so Jimin tries to make himself as small as possible near the wall so he doesn’t bump into anyone. His mind keeps going back to earlier with Yoongi. How he managed to open a door that hadn’t been wiped down  _ and  _ not wash his hands immediately after. He’ll admit he was doubtful that this kind of therapy would actually work...but he’s gotten used to touching doorknobs with his bare hands. It feels like he’s washing his hands less, and for a shorter time too. 

__

Knocking on the door of the room, Jimin peeks his head in to see Hyungwoo sitting in his hospital bed. 

__

“Oh, Jimin. Hello.”

__

“How are you feeling, sir?”

__

Hyungwoo sighs and shakes his head, “When the doctors said daily life would be inconvenient, I didn’t expect it would be this bad. Ah, well. The price of age, I guess. Aside from my knee, the rest of me feels just fine.”

__

“I’m very glad to see you are doing well,” Jimin says as he looks at the items on the bedside table. A glass of water, some tissues, a corded phone. 

__

“Come to think of it, what ever happened to that young man? Yoongi, was it? Have you managed to get in touch with him?” 

_ Shit!  _

__

He did get in touch with him but he utterly forgot to mention anything about how Mr. Hyungwoo wanted to repay him.

__

“Uh, no, sir. He, er...he hasn’t called back yet. I did give him my business card, though…”

__

Another sigh from Hyungwoo. “Ah. Well, I guess it isn’t polite to push the issue. Perhaps he’ll call back once some time has passed and the shock has worn off.”

__

Jimin chuckles nervously, “Y-yes perhaps.”

__

He feels so bad for lying but he doesn’t want to admit that Yoongi is actually helping him with his condition. No one needs to know. 

__

The conversation cuts to business talk and Jimin hands Hyungwoo some papers and contracts. “I’ve brought the pertinent materials from today. Mr. Kato from Port A International has sent the revised version of the contract. So...I will take these back to the office and see that it is affixed with the proper seals and signatures before sending it to Mr. Kato.” 

__

“Thank you, Jimin.” 

__

Jimin bows before leaving the room, reminding Hyungwoo that he would visit tomorrow as well. Just as he’s walking down the hall towards the elevators, he hears his name.

__

“Jimin! Jimin, wait a moment!” 

__

He turns to see Hyungwoo out on his crutches, holding his notebook, “You forgot this.” 

__

Jimin’s heart skips a beat when he catches sight of it in his hands. 

__

“I’m sure you’ll be at a loss without it. Your entire schedule is in here.” 

__

Hyungwoo picked up the notebook with a tissue so that he actually didn’t touch it.

__

“Th-thank you, sir.”

__

“Don’t worry. I didn’t touch it directly.”

__

“Oh! That’s all right. Thank you for your concern,” Jimin stands there for a second, holding his notebook awkwardly. “Uh, I’ll see you again tomorrow, then.”

__

As Hyungwoo heads back to his room, Jimin stares down at the notebook. He said he didn’t touch it but maybe he actually did…

__

He then remembers what number two was on his list. 

__

_ Allow someone else to touch on of my possessions.  _

__  
  
  


_ “Don’t worry, I didn’t touch it directly.” _

__

Jimin got some tissue from his bag and sprayed disinfecting spray on it. He starts to wipe the book down, almost scrub, just because of the chance Hyungwoo could have touched it. 

__

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” 

__  
  
  
  
  


Somehow, he managed to resist the urge to disinfect his hands the entire way home. 

__

_ Wow. That was much easier than I thought. But...I must still take off all my outerwear here in the foyer.  _

__

The process of stripping from his jacket, tie, and shoes starts again. He rummages through his bag and decides what can be brought back into the house and what can’t. 

__

“This can be brought inside… This can’t… This can’t… This I have to throw away…Ah.” 

__

In between his fingertips is Yoongi’s business card that he’d given him a while ago. He told Jimin he didn’t mind if he threw it away...but it would have been rude to do so while he was watching. 

__

_ I guess I wound up bringing it with me… _

__

“Great. Now what? I guess I should at least put his information in my contacts.” 

__

Jimin pulls up a new contact and starts to put in Yoongi’s information, but as he does so, he accidentally hit the call button. 

__

_ RIIING RIIING _

__

“Oh no! AH! NO! I-I HAVE TO HANG UP!” 

__

“Hello?” 

__

_ AAAAUGH! _

__

Jimin panics and slaps his phone against the side of his face, “Um! H-Hello. It’s Jimin. I’m sorry, I was putting your contact info in my phone...and I accidentally hit the call button.” 

__

There’s silence and Jimin thinks Yoongi hung up. 

__

“Oh.”

__

He sounds kind of...disappointed? 

__

“Er… Thank you for your assistance earlier today.”

__

“Sure. How’d it go? After, I mean.”

__

“Much better than expected, actually. At first, it was difficult to fight off the urge but...by the time I got home, the feeling was mostly gone.” There’s more silence so he speaks again. “Yoongi. Thank you.”

__

“I’m not the one who did all the work. You were. Good job, Jimin. You get a gold star.”

__

A...what?

__

“Huh? Um! N-No, I...I didn’t…” 

__

Yoongi sounds entirely different than he did during lunch. 

__

“I’m sorry. My patients at the clinic are usually younger children. I accidentally fell into the same habits as when I talk to them.”

__

“Oh. Okay… I see. No wonder your business card is so cute.”

__

Yoongi’s business card has little paw prints all over it. Jimin thought it was adorable but he was too afraid to say it, just in case it wasn’t supposed to be adorable. 

__

Silence follows again. Did Jimin say something wrong? But it also seemed as if Yoongi wanted to say something.

__

“Yoongi?”

__

“Uh. Nevermind. It’s nothing. I’ll see you next week.”

__

“Oh. Yeah. Of course. Good night.”

__

_ You get a gold star.  _

__

A gold star? Jimin hasn’t heard that since he was in kindergarten. 

__

Looking at the business card again, he can’t help but giggle. 

__

“I guess I won’t throw it away after all.”

__


	2. Step 3 and 4 and Maybe 8

Jimin was supposed to meet Yoongi at the cafe at 2 pm the next week. 

It’s 3:25 pm. 

Yoongi stares down at the time on his phone and it feels as if it's mocking him. 

_Is he not coming?_

Just as he’s about to pick up his phone and call, the door to the cafe swings open, setting off the bell around the handle. 

“I’m so sorry. I know I’m pretty late…” Jimin says, a bit out of breath. 

“It’s all right.” 

Jimin plops down in the chair across from Yoongi and sighs. 

“Whenever a client with O.C.D. arrives late for an appointment...the reason is almost always that something happened that weighed on their mind to the point that they couldn’t leave until they dealt with it,” Yoongi states. “Did something happen?”

Jimin squeezed his hands between his thighs, still feeling like he didn’t deserve to be getting help. He couldn’t even follow their plan. Despite not wanting to talk about it, Jimin tells Yoongi about what happened with Mr. Hyungwoo and how he had to disinfect his schedule book, even after he told Jimin he didn’t touch it. 

“You couldn’t resist the urge to disinfect your schedule book, which led you to have feelings of remorse and regret toward your boss and disappointment and self-loathing toward yourself.”

“Yes.”

“I see,” Yoongi says as his eyes roam around the room. “So...Let’s go to a bookstore today.”

“Huh?”

“Even if number two-allowing someone else to touch your things-is too much just yet, number three-to buy a book from the bookstore-may still be a viable option. If you’re okay with the idea, let’s try going to a bookstore.”

“Um,” Jimin wracks his mind for anything he could use as an excuse. “Shouldn’t we follow the order and clear each step before going to the next one?” 

_Isn’t that why I had to number them?_

“I do generally encourage my clients to do that, yes, but even I don’t know if that’s always the correct answer. Sometimes things change.”

“But...if I can’t do it after all, we’ll have wasted a trip…” Jimin mutters. He just doesn’t want to fail a step again. It tears him apart inside. 

“That’s okay. If you can’t do it now, we’ll just go back to number one and start all over with touching doorknobs. We’ll do that as many times as you need.”

“I just feel like I’ll never be able to do these like you think…”

Yoongi gives Jimin a sincere look, “People have bad days. There’s nothing wrong with that.” 

_Why? He’s a stranger. Why put up with all this? Were I in his place, I wouldn’t have the patience for it._

Jimin wonders if Yoongi sees this as pointless. Watching him waffle back and forth, going in circles over the same things… Does that honestly not bother Yoongi at all? 

Yoongi happens to glance over at Jimin and catches him staring. Jimin averts his eyes quickly and he feels a blush run across his cheeks. 

_Oops._

Jimin admits that he’s curious about what it is that Yoongi sees when he looks at him. 

When they make it to the bookstore, Jimin barely dares to step into the building. As he does, it’s like a loud sound effect from a horror movie booms around him.

_D U N_

“Oh...oh my…”

_Aah…_

His eyes seem to only look at the other customers touching the books, sliding their filthy fingers through the pages, running them along the spine of the books. There’s a reason so many people get sick and this is why. 

Jimin wraps his arms around himself, trying to stop himself from shaking or falling or dying _._

“Here we are,” Yoongi says, not even noticing Jimin’s uncomfortableness. “Where do you want to start looking first?”

_Look at the door, look at the exit. Please let me leave._

“Any preferred genres? Any book you’re interested in?” 

_Is there any on how I can understand why you’re wasting your time on me?_

“I know I must have had one or two… But it’s been so long since I last came to a bookstore I, um...I can’t remember what they were.” 

_My mind is preoccupied with other things…_

“I can see that.” 

_Oh, shut up._

“Oh. I know. My boss seemed very bored when I visited him in the hospital. I’ve been wanting to find a novel or two so he’d have something to pass the time.” 

Yoongi starts walking towards an aisle, “Ah. That sounds like a good idea. How about we look at the best sellers then?” He points towards a shelf and Jimin just watches as he wanders over there. 

“I do enjoy reading,” Jimin tells him as they look over the books. “Not being comfortable in a bookstore makes it so much more inconvenient though.” 

“Here,” Yoongi points at a book near the bottom of the stack, “If you’re going to pick one up, how about this one? It’s more likely the clerks haven’t touched this part of the stack.”

“Won’t the pile fall over when I pull it out?” He’d rather not deal with the second-hand embarrassment of a whole stack of books falling over. 

“It should be fine. Even I take books from the bottom of the stack sometimes.”

“You do?” Jimin laughs. “Jeez, Yoongi. You’re turning out to be so different from what my first impression of you was.”

He glances over at him, “I am? Well, you’re a lot less guarded and mistrustful than I expected.” 

“Really? I like to think I’m still on my guard around you.” 

Yoongi’s face softens as Jimin continues. 

“After all...it’s more difficult to hurt or disappoint others if you aren’t close to them in the first place. The feeling of disgust comes when it comes and has little regard for others intentions. That’s why...the only thing I can do for others is remain distant,” Jimin says in a hushed tone. “Though you saw through me right from the beginning, making that particular effort meaningless.”

Jimin has been rambling so he didn’t even realize what Yoongi has been doing. 

“Would you stop that, please? Y...you’re staring. I feel like I’m some sort of bug under a microscope. It makes me nervous.”

“Oh! I was staring? I’m sorry it must be a work habit,” Yoongi says innocently, but continues to stare at Jimin.

“Now you’re just doing it on purpose. STOP LOOKING AT ME AND LOOK AT THE BOOKS INSTEAD! HERE! LIKE THIS ONE!” Jimin picks up a random book and aggressively shoves it at Yoongi’s chest. 

He doesn’t even take it from him. “Ah.”

“Huh?” 

Jimin looks down to see the book in his bare hands. Does this even count? He did it on accident. Now that he knows it’s in his hands, he wants to drop it like it’s on fire, but instead, Yoongi takes him up to the register to purchase it. 

  


“Congrats. It looks like today was a good day for you,” Yoongi tells him as they leave the bookstore.

“I’m not sure that should count as a success. It’s just...while we were talking I got distracted, and my mind went somewhere else entirely.”

Yoongi smirks, “My plan worked.”

_You did not plan that. I heard your surprised gasp._

“Next time you visit your boss, you can give him that book. That will be enough to make up for your feelings of remorse from before, don’t you think?” 

“Sure…” he mumbles. There's a small pause as Jimin stops walking and looks up. “Yoongi. Did you do something to me?”

_It’s been a year since I last bought a book at a store. When I’m with Yoongi...I can almost fool myself into thinking I’m a normal person._

_Ugh...all of a sudden, my chest feels queasy and gross…_

“In two weeks we try riding a train and eating at a restaurant,” Yoongi tells him. 

“Two weeks? Why not next week?”

“You made some big progress today. Going too fast can be unhealthy. Let’s take a break. I’ll send you a text with the time in a few days.”

~

For the next couple days at work, Jimin found himself glancing down at his phone as if he was expecting a message. He didn’t want to admit that he wanted to hear from Yoongi but...he did. He didn’t know why. Being around Yoongi made him feel so...comfortable and he hated to admit that. 

Jimin shoves his phone in his pocket, “What am I doing? I need to get back to work.”

Heading out the door of the break room, Jimin nearly jumps back. 

“Ah! Pardon me-”

“Taehyung.”

“Oh, hey. Jimin. It’s been forever since I last ran into you in the break room. You used to be in here washing your hands all the time, but now I don’t see you as much.” Taehyung has a big boxy smile on his face. “And is it me, or did you not jump when we almost bumped into each other? Usually, you’d scuttle back a few steps. Even passing nearby you made you flinch. I’m glad to see it.”

Taehyung works in the sales department. He and Jimin joined the company at the same time. He’s one of Jimin’s few friends who accepts him for who he is. Taehyung doesn’t fuss over him or get overly worried. He keeps a pleasant distance between them, for which Jimin is very grateful. 

“Is the president in the hospital?” Taehyung asks as he gets some coffee from the machine. 

“Yes. He should be discharged soon though.”

“That’s good. Bum knees are a pain in the ass.”

Jimin laughs sheepishly just as his phone buzzes in his pocket. He yanks it out of his pocket a bit too quickly and sees a text from Yoongi. 

_Let’s meet up the day after tomorrow at 3 p.m. at the station closest to the cafe._

He can’t help but smile at seeing this. 

“What? Good news?” 

“Uh! N-no...it’s just a work-related message.”

Taehyung laughs, “A work-related message made your whole face light up like that?”

“I-It did not. You’re imagining things.”

  
  
  
~

Jimin knows that Yoongi will be taking him on a train and to a restaurant. Just thinking about being with him again makes his heart beat a little too fast. 

“Ugh…”

_It isn’t as if I’ve been sick lately...but for some reason my heart rate is erratic and I feel queasy._

“I don’t know if it’s a good idea for me to go out like this…”

Meeting on the weekends, visiting a bookstore and chatting about nothing… Maybe going to a cafe for some coffee or a restaurant for lunch. 

_I wonder if this is what it’s like for normal people who are friends or lovers…_

Jimin’s eyes widen at his own thoughts. 

  
“Wait. No! I meant friends or _FAMILY_. Not...not that other word. Not that I have anyone to correct myself to anyway.”

~

It’s the day after tomorrow. Jimin is standing where Yoongi told him to meet him. He didn’t sleep well last night so his head feels fuzzy and he’s not sure if he’ll be able to make it through the day. 

“You’re early today. Hi.”

“Oh, uh...it didn’t take me as long to get ready today,” Jimin says as he eyes Yoongi’s outfit. “You look a little...better dressed today, Yoongi.”

“Hm? Yeah. I do try to look nice when I go out to eat. Besides, I figured you would wear a suit, so I made reservations at a place where that wouldn’t stick out.” 

Yoongi and Jimin continue talking as the head towards the train station. 

“Oh...you picked a very...well, high-end restaurant then?”

“Starting at a place that has a clean, pristine image will be easier on you, right?”

“Well, yeah, but…”

“You don’t have to worry about the cost,” Yoongi assures him. 

Once they reach the station, Jimin follows Yoongi to the edge where they wait for the next train. 

_Oh great. All of a sudden...I’m feeling kind of queasy. It’s not quite the same feeling I had when we walked back from the bookstore that day either._

“...min?”

“Jimin.”

Jimin’s head shot up and he sees Yoongi staring at him. He didn’t even realize he’d spaced out. 

“Are you okay?”

“Oh. Y-Yes, I’m fine. I just, uh...didn’t sleep well last night.”

Yoongi nods, “Has work been busy?”

“You could say that,” Jimin says, moving some hair away from his forehead. There’s slight perspiration already. 

Yoongi turns towards the tracks, “Aha. Here comes the train.”

Jimin clutches his bag tighter in his hand, trying to distract himself from his racing heart. 

“What kinds of things does a corporate secretary do?”

“Hm? I do a lot of things. Screen the president’s email. Write earnings summaries. Even minor things like picking restaurants and making reservations for business lunches,” Jimin explains. 

_Wait a minute…_

“I don’t know too many secretaries.”

_Is he trying to distract me?_

Jimin sighs. 

_I think...I feel a little better now._

When the train reaches the platform and the doors slide open, Yoongi is the first to step on. Despite his racing heart and panicking thoughts, Jimin follows suite. The doors close behind them with a hydraulic hissing sound. 

“You got on.”

_Of course I did. I wasn’t just going to watch you ride away while I stood there like an idiot._

“It looks different than when I last rode a train,” Jimin says. 

“Has it been that long?”

Jimin nods, “Yeah. Early teens, at least. For high school and college, I picked places I could walk to specifically to avoid trains. For college, I rented a nearby apartment.”

“Do you want to try holding the handle?”

“Um…” Jimin sees a sticker on the window. 

_Kept clean and sanitary!_

_Antiviral protection_

“ _TRAIN DEPARTING.”_

The train lurches forward and Jimin stumbles sideways.

“See? You might fall.”

Yoongi didn’t seem affected by the sudden movement of the train. Obviously, it’s because he’s holding onto the pole. 

Jimin looks up at the handle in front of him and slowly moves his hand towards it. His fingers are just about to graze it when he hears a loud sneeze nearby. He flinches away to see a man reaching over his head. 

“Oh, excuse me.”

A flashback of his dad patting his head comes to mind. 

_He was so close…_

Jimin leans away from him and covers his mouth with his hand as if he’s about to be sick. 

“Jimin?”

He falls into a squatting position and closes his eyes tightly.

The man next to him is still there. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

Yoongi squats down next to him, “He’ll be fine, sir. Thank you. He’s with me.” He cocks his head and tries to meet Jimin’s eyes. “Jimin. Let’s get off at the next stop.”

_Woozy._

_Queasy._

_Whole world…_

_...spinning…_

_No...can’t throw up… Not here…_

_Can’t faint...can’t faint here either._

His knees are shaking and so are his hands as he tries to keep himself upright. A hand still covers his mouth because it feels like his stomach is going to turn itself inside out, right on the train floor. 

“Jimin. I ask this as a serious question. If you have to fall...what would you rather fall onto? The floor...or me?”

Jimin grabs onto Yoongi’s forearm. “Onto...you...Yoongi…”

  


At the next stop, two high school girls are entering the train right as Yoongi and Jimin are leaving. They gasped, surprised by the sight, obviously. 

Yoongi holds Jimin in his arms. He had just scooped him up from the floor before he fainted. 

“I’m sorry,” Yoongi whispers down to Jimin. “I figured this way involves less contact than if you threw an arm over my shoulder. Please try to put up with it for just a little longer.” 

_You’re the one who has to put up with it._

_Everyone is staring. It has to be embarrassing for you to be seen like this._

Although looking at his face, Yoongi looks unaffected by it. 

_Yoongi…_

_You’re so warm…_

When Jimin wakes up, it feels as if his head has been stuffed with cotton. He sits up and rubs at his eyes, looking around the room. Everything is unfamiliar. 

_ Where am I?  _

_ Oh. That’s right.  _

_ The train. I started feeling sick. Then… _

The sound of a door opening snaps Jimin out of his thoughts.

“Aha. You’re awake.”

“Yoongi… I just woke up. Is this a hospital?”

“Don’t you remember? This is the clinic where I work. I told the director what happened and asked to borrow an empty room. I asked if you preferred that I call an ambulance, but you kept insisting you were okay. I couldn’t allow you to go home by yourself in that state, so I hailed a taxi and brought us here. It was the closest place to the station where we got off.”

Jimin looks away and frowns, “I’m…”

“I’m sorry.” 

“What?” He looks up at Yoongi, a bit confused on why  _ he  _ is apologizing. 

“From the moment we met up at the station I was aware that you weren’t feeling your best. I should have suggested we postpone until another time, but I didn’t. If I had, this wouldn’t have happened.” 

“What? No! This isn’t your fault, Yoongi! I was the one who didn’t get enough sleep…” 

Yoongi gives him a condescending look, “You didn’t because you were worried about today, right?” 

“No. That isn’t it! I know, let’s go to that restaurant right now!” 

“Huh?”

“It would be a waste to cancel a reservation at such a nice place,” Jimin explains.

“No. Today you need to rest. Once you’ve calmed down and collected yourself, I’ll call a taxi to take you home. We can make another reservation some other time.” 

Jimin sighs and drops it, “Okay… Then please give me one of those.”

He points at a jar across the room filled with little candies. 

“These? If you’d like. These are candies I usually give to the children who come in for counseling.” 

Yoongi takes one out of the jar and places it in the palm of Jimin’s hand. 

“What has you so riled up today?”

Jimin drops his head, “I...I was looking forward to today. A lot. It’s been years since I’ve gone somewhere or had dinner with someone completely unrelated to work.”

“Don’t tell me that’s what kept you from getting sleep last night?” Yoongi asks with a surprised look on his face. 

“I...thought if it was you who I went with then it would be okay. If I don’t try now...then I get the feeling that the next time won’t work...and the time after that...and then I won’t even be able to...to just hang out with someone...or go to dinner with someone ever again. I don’t know why but today...for the first time in my life...that thought scares me.” 

He looks at Yoongi, trying to see why he hasn’t said anything to that because he usually always has something to say. 

Suddenly, Yoongi practically lunges forward on the bed, causing his and Jimin’s lips to just be mere inches away from each other. 

“Sorry. I thought I was something on your eyelash. I was wrong. It was nothing.”

“Oh. Um. O-Okay...nothing?” 

Yoongi pulls away and gets up, heading towards the door. “I’ll be right back. I’m going to tell the director that you’ve woken up.” 

“Oh. Okay.”

“I’m sorry,” he says, right before he disappears out the door. 

Jimin stares at the door with wide eyes and he feels his face heat up. He barely even noticed that his heart was racing again. Pulling his knees to his chest, he hugs himself and takes deep breaths. 

_ Oh my god… What just happened? _

_ What is this I’m feeling?! _

  
  
  
  
  


Back at his apartment, Jimin stands in front of the mirror in the bathroom, unbuttoning his shirt. 

_ Sheesh. My head still feels like it’s stuffed with cotton. I think I’m just going to go to bed. _

On that note, his phone buzzes on the counter. 

“Yoongi?” 

He has a small moment of panic before he picks up the phone.

“Hello?” 

“Jimin. Did you make it home okay?” 

“Yes. I got back a few minutes ago. Did...I accidentally leave something at your office?”

_ Or… _

_ Were you just worried about me?  _

“No, but there was something I forgot to mention.” 

“Oh? What is it?”

“Our usual schedule is to meet up at that cafe every week, correct? I think starting next week...we ought to take a break from that,” Yoongi says, no emotion in his voice. 

Jimin pauses as he feels his heart begin to sink, “You do?”

“I think rather than focusing your efforts on a single person...it would be healthier for you to begin practicing interacting with other people too. Try working on your list of ten with people other than me.”

“But…” 

_ Other people?  _

“All right.”

_ What other people?  _

“I’ll get in touch with you again after a while to see how you’re doing,” and just like that, the phone call ends. 

Jimin takes his time in the bath to reflect on the call. 

_ Yoongi… Why? You practically forced me into starting this with you…  _

_ Maybe since I’m having such a hard time making any real progress...you’re getting bored with me?  _

A warm tear runs down his cheek. 

“!” 

_ Why am I crying? _

Jimin scoops up some of the water and splashes it on his face. 

_ There. I’m not crying. It’s just bathwater.  _

_ There’s no point in worrying over it. Besides, he was right.  _

He pulls his knees to his chest and rests his chin on them. It helps him feel better when he’s upset. 

_ I need to stop relying on Yoongi for everything and start making some effort myself. That way, the next time we see each other, I’ll be able to go out to dinner with him.  _

  
  
  
  


The next day at work, Jimin waits outside of the sales and marketing office for Taehyung. He knew when he went on break or left the office for work so he came just in time. 

Taehyung spots him in the doorway and comes out. 

“Jimin? Are you here to speak with someone from sales?”

“Er...no. I came here looking for you.”

Taehyung is surprised by this. “Me?”

“S-Say, ah…” Jimin glances around to see if anyone is nearby while Taehyung just stares at him in confusion. “Will you go out with me….Taehyung?”

“Say WHAT?”

Jimin puts his hands out and starts to panic a bit, “Oh god! Uh, not like that! I mean...for dinner.” 

Taehyung bursts into laughter and Jimin watches as he nearly doubles over from laughing so hard. 

_ So this is how things are gonna go… _

“Well, why didn’t you just say so!” Taehyung smiles.

  
  
  


Later than evening, Jimin explains to Taehyung what he’s doing with the ten-step list and everything. 

“Huh! So this is what you’ve been doing? Some kind of exposure therapy? I never knew!” 

“I couldn’t think of anyone else but you to ask. Sorry.”

“If you’re sure you want me to help, that is,” Taehyung crosses his arms. 

“Um! I would be most humbly grateful if you would...my apologies in advance for being so incompetent…” 

Taehyung starts to laugh, “I bet anyone overhearing this conversation is really confused by now. To be honest, I kept hearing how good you are at your job and since we both came into the company at the same time, I’ve wanted a chance to chat with you. But it was hard for me to gauge how close to get to you. So I’m really happy that you invited me.” 

Jimin can’t help but blush a little at this praise. “Taehyung...I’ve always wanted to be more like you. In a very broad sense.” He drops his head so he can’t see how red his face is getting. 

“Huh? S-Stop that. It’s embarrassing,” Taehyung tells him, trying to get him to look back up. 

They chat for a few more minutes before Taehyung points out the time.

“Ah! I should be going home. Let’s talk more about this again sometime.”

“Yes, I’d like that. Thanks,” Jimin says, smiling at him. 

“Oh, Jimin. If you aren’t going to drink that, do you mind if I polish it off?”

Jimin looks at his untouched cup of coffee that’s been sitting there for a while now. “Oh. If you want. It’s gone cold though.”

“I don’t mind. Besides, it would be a waste not to have a sip of it. I’ve never been fond of letting good food go to waste,” Taehyung says with a smile before picking up the cup and taking a sip of it. 

Jimin just watches and that’s when he remembers his list. 

  1. _Drink from the same glass as someone else_



“Taehyung. Um...I...I think...I will have some after all.”

“Really? Okay,” he says, handing it off to Jimin.

Jimin slowly brings the cup towards his lips and takes a sip. Taehyung smiles and thanks him for inviting him out before leaving Jimin to sit alone. He sets the cup down with shaking hands and lets out the breath he's been holding.

_ Did I just do that? _

  
  
  
  
  


Yoongi glances at the calendar as he fills out his schedule. That’s when he realizes that it’s been three weeks since he last talked to Jimin.

Even the director is surprised by this. 

“Goodness! Has it really been that long? How has he been doing?”

“I haven’t spoken with him since then. So I don’t know,” Yoongi answers a little coldly. 

“Really?” The director gasps. “My, my! I’ve never seen you as flustered as you were that night, you know. I couldn’t help but be a little curious.

Yoongi shoots up from his desk and nearly shoves the papers at the director. “Here. Patient charts are done. I’m calling it a night.”

“Oh...of course. Thank you. Goodnight!” 

  
  


As he waits for the okay to cross the street, Yoongi slips out his phone and looks at Jimin’s contact. He doesn’t know if he feels bad for not talking to him at all but...it's for the best. 

“Hey! You there. Yes, you on the bicycle!”

Yoongi turns to see a man in a car talking to him. 

“Pardon me...Yoongi was it?” The man had stopped the car and was now getting out. “Thank you for your help the other day.” 

“Ah! You’re that guy…”

It’s Mr. Hyungwoo. 

“Thanks to you, I was already discharged from the hospital a few weeks ago. I hadn’t thought I’d get to see you again. What a wonderful coincidence. Do you have a little time to spare?”

And this is how Yoongi finds himself at an extremely fancy restaurant with the tiniest serving of salmon sitting in front of him for probably 58,000 won. 

“I’m glad I finally got the chance to thank you properly. It had been weighing heavily on me that I hadn’t,” Hyungwoo says. 

“It’s okay. It wasn’t all that big a deal…”

“But it was a big deal to me. So please just humor an old man,” he chuckles lightly. 

“Your secretary. Isn’t he with you today?” Yoongi asks. 

“Hm? Are you speaking of Jimin? He was with me earlier today, yes...but he has become quite friendly with one of his co-workers of late. I suspect the two of them went to dinner again after work today. I must admit I was rather surprised by this development. I didn’t think he was the type for that sort of thing.” 

_ He wasn’t.  _

“Ah. I see.”

Yoongi is glad that Jimin is doing well, especially without his help. But something inside of him feels kind of guilty. 

“Do you need to speak with him?”

“Oh. Uh, no. It’s nothing.”

  
  
  


It's the afternoon and Jimin is sitting at a cafe with Taehyung. 

“Do you think we should get going?” Taehyung asks.

“Hm? Sorry?”

“I asked if you wanted to leave. You’ve been staring out the window this entire time, so I was wondering if maybe you didn’t like it here.”

“Oh, er...no, I don’t dislike it. But we  _ have  _ been here for quite some time. We should go. Thank you again for coming, Taehyung.”

“Nah, it’s okay. I’m really glad I came today. This place has great coffee.”

“Well then, I guess I-” Jimin stops mid-sentence when he looks over to see Yoongi on his bike. 

“AH! Yoongi! What are you doing here?”

_ Is this just a coincidence? After all...he said he wasn’t going to come here for a while.  _

His heart already feels like it's going to beat out of his chest.

“Me? This cafe is close to work. I stop by every now and again. What brings you here, Jimin?” 

Taehyung is still standing there, watching the awkward encounter.

“Oh...I see. I, uh, I was spending the afternoon with a coworker. We happened to be in the area, so we came for some coffee. I...like this cafe. It’s a relaxing place.”

So you’re doing it. What I asked you on the phone that day. I’m glad,” Yoongi smiles. 

“Thank you. Yoongi. These last few weeks...I’ve learned I can do so many more things. I...I can shake hands...or even drink out of the same cup as someone else with little problem. I-”

“That’s great. You’re doing a good job… Jimin...if you can shake hands now...then shake hands with me.” Yoongi puts out his hand.

“What?”

Jimin can hear his heartbeat in his head. It sounds like a drum. 

He hesitantly reaches out and grabs Yoongi’s hand. 

_ Ah! Yoongi’s hand. I’m touching it!  _

_ And just like before...it’s warm.  _

“This will be our first and last handshake... You never did get to tell me what number ten was. But it looks like I don’t need to know that anymore. I’m sure you’ll do just fine from now on. I enjoyed chatting with you at this cafe, Jimin.” Yoongi lets go and smiles at him, “Sorry. I’m talking your ear off. I’ll see you.”

Yoongi pedals away and leaves Jimin standing there. 

“Jimin. Is that the Yoongi you told me about?” Taehyung asks but there’s no answer. “Jimin?!”

All he can do is stand there with hot tears pouring down his face. His lower lip starts to tremble and his throat gets tight. Jimin presses the palms of his hands to his eyes and just lets the tears fall. 

  
  


_ I’ve been sent…. _

  
  


_ Straight back to zero.  _

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, as always. I really do appreciate the kudos :) 
> 
> I feel like I could be adding a lot more than this but I'm a crappy writer. 
> 
> Anyway, this finishes book one! Book two is where the uh... s m u t comes. 
> 
> Be prepared :) 
> 
> -Tae


	3. I can't promise you...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimin begins opening his heart to Yoongi until the counselor suddenly tells him that the sessions are over. Shocked, Jimin withdraws into his home, refusing to leave. Then, out of the blue, Yoongi texts him and asks to see him. What will Jimin do when he finds out the secret Yoongi has been hiding from him this entire time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the second book of Ten Count! Like I said at the beginning of this story, I do not take credit for the story or its storyline. I am only changing up the story the way I'd like to see it. 
> 
> Thank you for all the reads and kudos. Please stay with me through this! I really appreciate it. 
> 
> -Tae

_ This will be our first and last handshake.  _

  
  
  


**INCOMING CALL:**

**KIM TAEHYUNG**

_ Please leave a message after the tone. _

“Jimin? Is everything alright? Where are you? Please call me back, okay?”

Taehyung sighs.

“He still isn’t answering his phone…”

“I see. I thought he might if he saw it was from you, but…” Mr. Hyungwoo pauses, “Perhaps we should ask Jimin’s other friends for help.”

“Yes, but, um...the only other friend I know off is Yoongi, but I don’t know how to reach him.” 

Hyungwoo looks up at him, “Oh? Yoongi?”

  
  
  
  


Yoongi unbuttons the top of his scrub shirt, taking it off and putting it on a hanger in the closet. His phone starts to buzz in his pocket, which surprises him. Who would be calling him? 

  
  


**INCOMING CALL:**

**UNKNOWN NUMBER**

“Hello?” Yoongi answers hesitantly. He usually doesn’t answer unknown numbers but…

“ _ Hello? Is this Mr.Min Yoongi?”  _

“It is. Who is this?

_ “I apologize for calling you out of the blue. My name is Taehyung. I’m one of Jimin’s co-workers. We met the other day at the cafe, do you remember? I got your number from president Hyungwoo...er; it’s a long story. Anyway, the reason I’m calling is to ask if you could get in touch with Jimin for me.”  _

“May I ask why?” Yoongi tries not to sound too worried or concerned, even though he is. 

_ “You see… About a week ago, Jimin began acting...unwell. I was told he even left work early a few times. Two days ago, he failed to show up, and he isn’t answering our phone calls. He’s never done anything like this before.” _

“A week ago?”

A week ago was when Yoongi said goodbye to Jimin. 

_ “Jimin seemed incredibly open with you, so I thought you’d be the best one to speak with him. So would you?” _

“I think...you may be the better choice. If he’s not answering calls from you, Taehyung, I can’t see him answering mine.” 

_ “I see. But...when we ran into you in front of that cafe that day, you two shook hands, didn’t you?  _ I couldn’t hear what the two of you were saying, but I was shocked to see him allow it. Jimin isn’t nearly as open with anyone else.”

Yoongi narrows his eyes, “Oh? But just the other day he told me he could shake hands with other people and even share the same cup.”

_ “Even that day at the cafe, he ordered a coffee but never drank it. I drank it for him. I guess he’s still uncomfortable in public eateries. When Jimin speaks of you...he always seems relaxed and even...happy. So please...won’t you try getting in touch with him?”  _

  
  
  


Once Yoongi finishes work, he tries calling Jimin but only gets his voicemail. 

“Dammit!” 

He even sends him a text. 

_ There’s something we need to discuss. Please call me when you see this. _

  
  
  


Jimin lays in bed, staring at the wall. He has no intention to move or get up. Just being awake right now exhausts him. His mind won’t stop racing, and neither will his aching heart. 

His phone lays next to him, the screen totally black. 

_ Huh. _

_ Come to think of it; I haven’t looked at my phone in days. I’ll probably have a ton of calls from work.  _

_ I wonder if they’ll fire me for this. Maybe they already have.  _

Jimin sits up and grabs the plug nearby, inserting it into his phone and waiting for it to turn on. In a minute, the screen lights up, and his phone starts to buzz repeatedly. 

**26 Missed Calls**

**11 New Messages**

There’s a bunch of texts from Taehyung and voicemails from...Yoongi? He also sent him a text. 

_ There’s something we need to discuss. Please call me. _

His hands start to shake as he checks the next text. 

_ Please come to the cafe this Saturday at 2 p.m. I will wait until you can manage to get there.  _

Today at 2 p.m. It’s already 7:24 pm.

Jimin plops down on the bed and drops his head. 

Yoongi can be so pushy…

_ I’ll wait until you can manage to get there.  _

He isn’t still waiting. It’s been five hours already. He CAN’T still be waiting! 

Jimin nearly jumps out of bed and throws clothes on before dashing out of his apartment towards the cafe. 

_ There’s no way he’s still waiting. He’s not that crazy. Only someone who cared about Jimin would wait that long.  _

On his way there, it starts to rain. It doesn’t bother him like it usually does. He just keeps running. 

When he reaches the cafe, he practically stumbles in through the door. 

“Welcome! A table for one-”

Jimin stands in front of the waitress, drenched from head to toe and completely out of breath. He turns and sees him sitting. 

“Why? Why the hell are you still here? Why send a message like that? Just…enough! Stop messing with me more than you already have!” 

Yoongi stares at Jimin, probably surprised he showed up. “Jimin… You’re soaked. Can you handle the rain?”

“Of course I can’t! Who knows what kinds of bacteria are in it? I feel disgusting right now! But you sent me that message. You told me you would wait.” Jimin has no idea why he’s shouting. He can’t help it. He’s just so  _ sick  _ of feeling like Yoongi is playing around with him. He hates who sick it makes him feel on the inside. 

“Jimin...I wanted to apologize to you.”

Jimin scoffs, “I don’t want your apologies. I...I want you to stop contacting me.” The goddamn tears are back. “I want you to put me back...to the way I was before I met you. That’s all I came to say… Goodbye.” 

He turns on his heel and heads out the door. 

“Jimin!”

The door slams behind him, and Yoongi is left standing there, alone and confused. He sighs and goes to sit back down, but that’s when he realizes that Jimin dropped his card to get on the subway. 

  
  
  


Jimin is walking faster than usual back towards the train. He’s still out of breath, but he’s pissed off and doesn’t give a damn about anything right now. 

_ Yoongi...looked at me like I was insane. Not that I blame him.  _

_ It’s over. Now I really won’t see him again.  _

Something inside of Jimin wants this to happen. He wants to pretend like he never met Yoongi, just because it makes him feel so...weird. But there’s also something else that keeps making him  _ cry  _ about it, and it feels like there is a knife going through his heart. 

Just as Jimin makes it to the station, he goes to grab his card but realizes that...it’s gone? 

_ My train pass.  _

“Um…” he feels around in all his other pockets, panicking when he finds each one of them empty. 

_ Oh no. Did I drop it? _

Where is he supposed to go now? He looks down either side of the street. One side is too vast. The other side is too dark. 

_ God. What am I doing? And I left in such a hurry I even forgot my wallet. _

Jimin takes his gloves off and drops them in a nearby trash can. He holds himself, feeling cold from the rain but also very gross. 

_ I feel so disgusting. I just want to get out of these clothes and throw them away. I didn’t notice earlier, but it’s chilly outside. I’m starting to get cold.  _

He crouches down, getting hit with a train of anxiety because he’s not sure what to do now. He’s cold and alone, and it’s  _ late,  _ and he’s still pissed at Yoongi. Nothing is going the way it should. 

_ Now what do I do? How can I get home?  _

“Jimin.” 

_ Yoongi? Ugh...seriously. Why do you keep chasing after me?  _

“Here. This is yours, right. You dropped it at the cafe.” 

_ I just yelled at him in public. How do I face him now? _

His face starts to blush, and he feels even more like an idiot. 

“...You’re angry with me because it was cruel and irresponsible of me to push you away and distance myself like that, right? I’m sorry.” Jimin is silent, so Yoongi keeps talking. “Jimin. You told me you could shake hands and share a drink with someone. Was that a lie?”

Jimin’s head shot up and he gasps. “W-well…”

“Taehyung told me you haven’t with him.”

“T-Ta-Taehyung?!” 

_ HOW DOES HE KNOW HIM?! _

“You finally looked up. Would you stand?” Yoongi puts his hand out for Jimin, and he accepts, letting Yoongi pull him up from the ground. 

“Yoongi...it was my fault you decided not to see me anymore, right? Because I was having so much trouble getting over my germaphobia? I...I thought that once I made some progress, I could get in touch with you again...but nothing ever went as planned…”

Jimin lets his eyes fall to the ground, and he feels heat rush to his cheeks again. 

_ Why am I acting like this? _

Suddenly, Yoongi drapes his jacket over Jimin’s head and around his shoulders and pulls him into a hug. 

“Y-Yoongi?” 

“Is this unpleasant for you? I’m sorry, but if I don’t do this, you’ll catch a cold and die.” 

_ I’m gonna die?  _

_ Ugh… M-My heart! W..what is this feeling?  _

Jimin feels his heart beating against his ribs, and he’s afraid that Yoongi can feel it too. 

“Jimin...I tried distancing myself from you because…” 

He doesn’t finish his sentence. Jimin glances up and lets his chin fall into the crook of Yoongi’s shoulder. 

“You’re so warm. I wondered this before, but do you have an unusually high body temperature? Or...are all people this warm?” 

Yoongi squeezes him tighter, “Jimin, I put distance between us because I realized I was falling in love with you.”

Jimin’s eyes widen, and he feels his breath catch in his throat. 

“When I touched your bare hand the other day, I was so happy that I surprised myself. Is it arrogant of me...to think you’re okay with me holding you?”

“Y-You...LOVE ME?!” Jimin pulls himself away from Yoongi’s embrace but keeps his jacket wrapped over his head.

“Yes.”

“Love...as in. W-What?” 

“I wasn’t going to tell you this, but whenever I’m near you, I get the overwhelming urge to touch you. That’s why I decided it wasn’t in your best interests for me to remain close to you. When I nearly kissed you that night, you seemed incredibly shaken by it. Remember?” Yoongi says. 

_ Nearly kissed me? _

_ Wait...th-that was…  _

_ THAT WAS GOING TO BE A KISS?! _

“I knew you trusted me as you would a counselor. It felt as though I was taking advantage of that trust, and I didn’t like that. But even after distancing myself, I felt pangs of jealousy when I saw you were becoming friendly with others.” 

“Whoa. Stop. W-Wait a minute. Th-This is all so sudden I’m not sure I understand…”

The look in Yoongi’s eyes is heartfelt as he looks at Jimin. “If I remain close to you, I can’t guarantee I won’t try touching you again. Knowing that, what do you want to do? Do you still want to meet with me?” 

Jimin’s cheeks feel like they’re on fire right now as he looks down at his shoes. “T-To be honest...I don’t know. I don’t know what to do...but…” He looks up at Yoongi, “I do know that if I’m not allowed to see you anymore, I won’t be able to stand it.” 

Yoongi’s eyes seem to light up, and a small gummy smile peeks out from behind his lips.

“That answer is more than enough for me.” 


	4. I Hate It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimin meets up with Yoongi in a different setting. Things don't go as planned. Too much happens at once. 
> 
> Does it feel disgusting, though?

“Jimin, did you come here by train?” Yoongi asks. 

“Oh, yeah…”

“By yourself? Didn’t it make you feel uncomfortable or even sick?”

“No. It was all right. After all, I-”

_I figured the train would be the quickest way to Yoongi and I was so desperate to see him that I-_

“Um! Since you helped me get an IC train card the other day, I thought it’d be a waste not to use it.” 

“I see. That’s some significant progress. Still, you shouldn’t push yourself. I think you should take a taxi home. And soon. Otherwise, you really _will_ catch a cold.” 

_Am I going to die, like you said after hugging me?_

Jimin gulps, “W-Well, uh, you see...I forgot my wallet…”

  
  


“Yoongi, I’m really sorry about everything this evening.”

Yoongi shrugs, “It’s okay. I feel like I got to see another side of you today.” 

Jimin accidentally starts blushing again. 

“Oh. One more thing. Here. I forgot to return this to you earlier.” Yoongi holds Jimin’s train card with a napkin.

“My IC card…”

“It fell on the ground. You won’t want to touch this now?” 

He frowns, “I’m sorry.” 

“Well then… Do you want to trade card cases instead?”

“Trade?”

“I bought this one not that long ago, so it’s still rather clean. I’ll sue your card case instead. Or would you rather just take the card from inside and get a new case?” 

_Number 7 on his list…_

  1. _Hold someone else’s possession without disinfecting it first._



“No. I’ll trade. Please let me use your card case.” 

Yoongi takes his card out of his case and hands it over to Jimin. He accepts it with no problem. Doesn’t even begin to worry about where it’s been.

Just as Jimin turns to walk away towards the elevator, Yoongi puts his hand out against the wall to block him. 

“Oh. I almost forgot…” he leans closer. “Thank you for coming today. As long as you allow me to remain close...I think I’m going to try convincing you to fall in love with me. Are you okay with that?”

“I uh…can’t really tell you what to do…” Jimin stutters. 

“Well then...goodnight.” 

Jimin watches as Yoongi walks out of the door to the apartment building. Once the door shuts behind him, Jimin lets his knees fail him and drops to the floor, hugging his knees. 

_I...I feel so disgusting._

_Heart pounding… Stomach queasy._

_God...Yoongi. Was that blank expression of yours always hiding those kinds of thoughts?_

The buzzing of his phone in his pocket stops his brain from overthinking. 

  


_Can we meet at the usual cafe at 8:30 p.m. next Thursday._

  


_“Jimin, if I remain close to you, I can’t guarantee I won’t try touching you again._

  


_All right. I’ll see you at 8:30._

  
  


_He’s in love with me? When he sees me, he wants to touch me? I doubt that. If so, I question your taste in romantic partners!_

_Which reminds me, we’re both men!_

_Never in my life has someone told me they love me like that. But…_

Yoongi said he would tell Jimin the reason he was doing all this when he fills in number ten on his list. 

  
  
  
  


That next Thursday Jimin meets Yoongi at the cafe at 8:30. Yoongi is always early but this time...he’s not. 

_That’s odd. Yoongi almost always arrives before I do._

Just as Jimin is questioning where he could be, Yoongi calls. 

“Hello?”

_“Hey, it’s me. Are you at the cafe already?”_

“Yes. I got here a minute ago.”

_“Oh. Sorry to spring this on you now but could we postpone until tomorrow. The director was out sick today, so I was called in to cover her shift. The clinic hours are only until eight, so I thought I’d be able to make it in time, but I haven’t finished up yet.”_

Jimin frowns, “Oh. I see. That’s too bad.”

_“I’m sorry. I should have called you when I heard I had to work. But I really was looking forward to seeing you.”_

“O-Oh! Um! I-I see!”

Jimin wanted to see him too but...let’s not be that honest yet. 

_“I’ll make it up to you next time. I promise. Goodnight.”_

Jimin feels kind of stupid just standing in the middle of the cafe, alone, with no reason to be there anymore. He sighs, trying to convince himself that he’s not _that_ upset about not being able to see Yoongi as he leaves the cafe. 

But as he’s walking back, he finds himself passing the clinic that Yoongi works at. Jimin’s not sure if it's just a coincidence or if he was doing it subconsciously.

He peers in through the front door but finds it completely dark. As if no one is even there. 

_Is Yoongi still here? It doesn’t look like it. The lights are off. But the blinds are still open… Still… An empty, dark clinic is kind of creepy._

_Not that I’m afraid of anything._

“Jimin?” 

“AHHHHH!” Jimin screams and nearly falls over. “Y-Y-Y-YOONGI?!”

“Why are _you_ surprised?” Yoongi asks with a dumbfounded expression. “I’m the one who should be surprised.” 

“Well, uh, it seemed a bit of a wasted trip to turn around and go home. I thought I might as well stop by…” 

Yoongi suddenly starts smiling, “Why? Because I said, I was looking forward to seeing you?” 

“Not necessarily. I didn’t have anything else to do this evening, and this isn’t far from the cafe. I was just taking a peek on my way home.” 

He laughs, “Whatever you say. Anyway, it’s chilly out. Would you like to come in? The receptionists and staff have all gone home. That door is already locked. We’ll have to go in the back.” Yoongi leads Jimin towards the side of the building and opens up a backdoor, letting him in first. “I still have a few things left to finish up. Have a seat and warm yourself.”

“Oh, here,” Yoongi hands Jimin a drink. “I just bought this from the mini-mart. Since it’s canned and not something others have touched, you can drink it if you wash the rim, right?”

“Yeah… Thank you,” Jimin says as he takes the drink from Yoongi. 

As Yoongi walks down a hallway, probably towards an office, Jimin roams around the room, looking around at everything. 

_This is where Yoongi spends his days working._

Jimin sits down on one of the benches and looks at the drink in his hands. It seems to be some kind of coffee drink. Of course, Yoongi would buy this. He would need some energy, but why did he give it to Jimin? He didn’t feel tired…

  
  


Yoongi has been doing paperwork for over an hour, and he feels the tiredness hanging over him like a dark cloud. 

_I should go check on Jimin._

“Sorry to keep you waiting. I’m finally done.” 

Entering the room, Yoongi sees Jimin slightly slumped over. He walks over and crouches down to look at him. 

_He's asleep._

Funnily enough, he started drinking the energy drink Yoongi gave him, but still fell asleep. The bottle is still in his hands. He hasn’t spilled any of it while sleeping. 

“Jimin.”

“Huh?” Jimin’s eyes flutter open, and he looks a bit surprised to see Yoongi crouched down in front of him. “Oh. Are you done?”

“Yes.” 

Jimin leans forward a bit, still sleepy, and nearly spills the drink he’s holding. Yoongi presses his hand against Jimin’s, so he doesn’t drop it.

  


Yoongi chuckles softly, “Is it past your usual bedtime, Jimin?”

“It’s warm in here, which made me sleepy, is all.” 

Yoongi takes the drink in one hand but holds Jimin’s hand in the other. 

“When you came in here...you took your gloves off. Was that for me?”

“Ah!”

Yoongi brings Jimin’s hand closer to his lips, “I find that very... _very_ hard to resist.” 

“Huh?”

Yoongi slowly lets his lips touch Jimin’s knuckles before he kisses them. Jimin shudders, but he doesn’t pull his hand away like he thought he would.

“Hm? Are you sure you don’t want to pull away? I did warn you about what I might do if you stay too close to me. I won’t keep reminding you.” 

“Um...Yoongi?” Jimin’s heart feels like it’s about to explode. 

Pulling his hand open, Yoongi kisses the palm before letting his tongue slide up Jimin’s fingers. Still not pulling away, Jimin closes his eyes and grits his teeth. 

_Wh-what’s going on? I…_

Yoongi looks up at Jimin between his fingers and his dark eyes look lustful. It’s nothing Jimin has ever seen before, and he’s almost...afraid. 

“Does this feeling disgusting?”

_Disgusting? Of course, it feels disgusting! Why wouldn’t it?_

_I’m pretty sure getting your hand licked would be disgusting to anyone, Yoongi, not just me._

Jimin can’t hide his discomfort, but it’s not the only thing he’s feeling… He just can’t explain it. Yoongi continues to lick his fingers, letting his hot tongue slide against them and coat them in his saliva. Jimin can’t help but gasp and nearly choke because of trying to hold back his breath. 

“Haa… Ah… Nh… Yo...Yoongi…” 

“Let me guess. Right now you’re so focused on the feelings in your hands that you can’t think straight,” Yoongi says as he kisses the top of Jimin’s hand. 

“Mmh!” 

“You’ve kept things and people from touching them for so long that they’ve become overly sensitive.” 

“Ngh!”

_Yoongi’s tongue feels hot… Feels disgusting._

“Haa… Haa…” 

Yoongi presses his torso against Jimin’s knees, making him open his legs. Without any sort of warning, he reaches forward and presses the palm of his hand to his crotch. 

“H-Hey! Yoo-”

Jimin gets cut off by a loud gasp after Yoongi squeezes his bulge. 

“Ah! Huh? Wait… Am I really-”

“Jimin… Why are you hard?” 

Jimin’s cheeks light on fire out of embarrassment. Yoongi continues though. He squeezes again.

“S-Stop tha- Aah! D-Don’t...Don’t touch there… Nnh!”

Yoongi puts his hand on the small of Jimin’s back and leans him on the bench. 

_ Oh god. A public bench. _

“W-Wait! Please!” 

“Jimin, you left number ten on your list blank. Is it sex?”

“N-No… No, it isn’t. B-But… I…”

“Ah, well. Either way, you can hardly walk home like this. And I doubt you’d feel comfortable jerking off in the public bathroom here.” 

“Jerking-?!” 

Yoongi lets his fingers rub against Jimin’s cock through his pants. 

“It’d be too great of a shock if someone else touched it directly, right? Then I’ll stay on the outside of your clothes,” he whispers. 

Jimin pulls his head away, but he can’t stop his body from quivering at Yoongi’s touch. His mind is disgusted by this, but his body isn’t on the same page. 

His hips want to press towards Yoongi’s hand as he continues to rub at Jimin’s erection. Jimin grabs onto Yoongi’s arms, gripping tightly at the fabric of his scrubs. He doesn’t want to show that this feels good, but the gasps and moans that leave his mouth are showing different. 

“Yo...Yoongi…”

Jimin pulls his knees up and pushes at Yoongi’s hand, but it’s to no avail. He just keeps rubbing and squeezing and driving Jimin  _ crazy.  _

Yoongi pauses, “Do you hear that? It sounds very wet.” 

Jimin slaps his hand against his mouth, trying to muffle his moans that are just making him feel more embarrassed. 

_ To have someone else’s hands down there…  _

_ When I did it myself, my mind was always occupied by how unpleasant the thought of getting my hands dirty was and the worry that there might be bacteria on my hands that could contaminate things.  _

_ But now...the only thing I can think of is Yoongi. _

“Yoo..ngi..”

Yoongi grabs Jimin’s hand again and kisses it. His lips are soft.  _ Really  _ soft. His hand continues to fondle and squeeze at Jimin’s clothed cock, and it finally pushes him over the edge.

Jimin’s eyes widen, and he pushes his hips up against Yoongi’s hand. Yoongi holds onto his wrist as he shoots up, his back arched and his head pressed against the bench. Jimin lets out a loud cry of pleasure as his climax hits him like a train. He squeezes his eyes shut, but he swears he can see lights behind his eyelids. Not only is a warmth shooting through his entire core, but there’s also the warmth of his cum coating the inside of his pants. 

Tears prick at the corners of his eyes, and when he opens them, he sees Yoongi staring down at him, a satisfied smile on his face. 

Jimin’s heavy breathing is the only thing that can be heard through the room.

“Tell me. Did that feel…”disgusting”? Halfway through, stopping became difficult and-”

“I...I’m leaving!” Jimin sits up quickly and pushes Yoongi away. He stands up and starts walking away, but Yoongi grabs his wrist. 

“Wait a minute. You can hardly go home like that.” 

“Let go of me. Please.” Jimin has his hands curled into a fist, even though they’re shaking.

Yoongi lets go, “I scared you. I’m sorry. I’ll buy you a new suit. For now, I have a brand-new set of scrubs. Please wear them home. You don’t have to return them.”

  
  
  
  


In the bathroom, Jimin scrubs his hands mercilessly. Just looking at them made him feel sick. 

_ Why did I let him do that? _

  
  


Back in the reception, Jimin wrapped himself up in his coat, along with a scar and a face mask. Yoongi thought it looked like he was pouting, as he was sitting with his arms crossed and his face hidden within the scarf. 

Yoongi sits on the opposite side of the benches. Neither of them facing either other. 

“Jimin, be honest. Did you really not like what we did a moment ago?”

“Of course, I didn’t. It felt like...like you were just toying with me.”

“I was very serious.”

There’s a honk from outside, cutting off the chances of the conversation moving any further.

“Ah. Your taxi is here.”

  
  
  


_ I want you to be my friend. _

_ I realized I was falling in love with you. _

_ I did warn you about what I might do if you stay too close to me. I won’t keep reminding you.  _

How much of all of that did he mean?

_ It’d be too great of a shock if someone else touched it directly, right? Then I’ll stay on the outside of your clothes. _

Jimin crosses his arms against himself. He lets his head drop and tries to focus on his breathing, which is still too heavy to be normal.

_ I was so scared.  _

_ And yet...for some reason… _

_ I still can’t calm down.  _

He still felt an ache. A throb. And he hated it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These last few chapters have come really fast because I've enjoyed writing this! Hearing from people that really like reading this has made me more excited and motivated to keep writing. Thank you for the love! 
> 
> This smut scene was a little short. I promise the other ones will be longer hehe
> 
> -Tae


	5. Almost Sensual...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoongi takes Jimin out for dinner, under apologetic circumstances. 
> 
> Jimin has no idea what he's feeling. He knows he doesn't like it but there's something else within him that he can't explain.
> 
> Yoongi plans on getting that out of him, one way or another. Whether it makes Jimin uncomfortable or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like always, THANK YOU FOR READING. I appreciate all of you. I also really appreciate the feedback. 
> 
> If you can, please share with people you think may enjoy reading this!! 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy! 
> 
> -Tae
> 
> P.S. I thought I should mention that it may seem weird when Yoongi 'picks up' or carries Jimin because IRL Jimin is actually a tiny bit shorter than Yoongi (they're both short but YEAH). So it probably doesn't make sense that little Yoongi could scoop Jimin up like a baby, as if he were Jungkook or something, but let me explain. In the book, Kurose (played by Yoongi) is actually quite taller than Shirotani (played by Jimin) so in that case, he can easily pick up Shirotani, no problem. 
> 
> SO, just bear with me and imagine that Yoongi could pick up Jimin, okie? lol

Jimin stares at himself in the mirror as he washes his hands. He’s kept his hair blonde for a long time now. He starts to wonder if he’d look better with his natural color…

“Ow!” 

The soap burns his open wounds and it causes him to flinch away from the water. Jimin knows he needs to let them heal and give them a break from incessant washing. But he can’t even imagine going a day without washing them. Just the thought of it makes him want to cringe. 

As he leaves the bathroom, he runs into Taehyung. 

“Hey! Office cafeteria for lunch today?”

~

  


“We’ve been bumping into each other a lot lately,” Taehyung remarks as he sips his coffee.

“Yeah.”

“I’ve been curious about how you’ve been doing since then. So whenever I have to go to the bathroom, I go up to your floor. It’s this weird parental concern, I guess.”

Parental concern? Hearing that from Taehyung is honestly a little weird considering Jimin is older than him. 

“Yoongi was pretty worried about you then too, you know.”

“Things have been going...well, I guess.”

Jimin isn’t going to be totally honest with Taehyung on how things are going. They’re going weird...but that’s not his concern. 

“Really? That’s great!”

“Yeah. Sorry I worried you.”

Jimin picks up his cup of coffee and stares down at the liquid. A dark abyss, swirling with a small bit of milk. He isn’t sure if he wants to drink it or not, but his phone goes off in his pocket and saves him from panicking. 

“Ah. I should be going. Thanks, Taehyung.”

“Sure,” Taehyung smiles and watches as Jimin leaves, also leaving his coffee untouched. 

Out in the hallway, Jimin looks at the text he’s received from Yoongi. 

_On the 19th, would you like to join me for dinner at the restaurant we didn’t get to go to before? As an apology, it will be my treat._

_I’m sorry about the other night._

Jimin narrows his eyes and feels the anger bubbling up again after reading it. 

_Dinner? Us? Are you crazy? No, I will not go to dinner with you! Why would I after what you did to me? Does he think because he’s in love with me...that I’ll let him do whatever he wants to me?_

  
  
  


Despite his mental protests and anger, Jimin finds himself out with Yoongi that night anyway. 

“Good evening,” Yoongi says as Jimin walks up beside him. 

Jimin looks away from Yoongi and mutters, “Evening.”

“Do you think you’ll try eating tonight?”

_I’ll eat your goddamn face off, that’s for sure._

“Can’t say.” Jimin still isn’t making any eye contact with him. 

“It’s a very good restaurant. Do you drink?”

“A bit.”

Yoongi sighs, “Are you still upset with me?” 

“You know I am,” Jimin growls. 

“I see. Would you rather I not speak to you, then?”

Jimin finally glares over at him, not even sure what to say to that. 

_Why? Why do I keep agreeing to see this man?_

  
  


Yoongi flips through the menu, reading some things to Jimin since he’s too afraid to touch his own menu. 

“They don’t offer full-course meals. I’ll order a few dishes. If you think you’re up to eating, feel free to have a bite.”

“All right.”

A waiter comes over and fills up their glasses with bubbling champagne. Jimin just eyes the golden liquid as it fizzes inside the glass. 

“If you feel you can’t drink it, I’ll drink it for you.”

“N-No, it’s fine.”

To be honest, Jimin actually enjoys champagne. He just never drinks it from restaurants. If he’s feeling up to it, he’ll pour a glass for himself at home, but it’s very rarely, considering he has no idea where the bottle has been or how it’s been processed. That shouldn’t bother him, he knows it’s crazy and probably stupid, but he can’t help it. 

Jimin picks up the glass and examines it. 

_This glass… Is it truly clean? What about the bottle it was poured from?_

Glancing up, Jimin watches as Yoongi raises his glass to his lips. Seeing his lips just reminds him of the other night, when he basically _violated_ his hand. Jimin shudders as he feels his cheeks start to flush.

“Jimin? Please don’t force yourself if you aren’t feeling up to it.”

“N-no. Really… I’m fine!” Jimin chugs down his drink, finishing it in just a few seconds. Yoongi stares at him with wide eyes. 

As if the waiter could smell an empty champagne glass, he comes over and offers Jimin more. 

“More? Er… I guess I’ll have more of the same.” 

As soon as the waiter fills his glass and walks away, Jimin throws back the drink again. He’s drinking way too quickly but he can’t help it. If he’s drunk, he can’t overthink things, right?

  
  


Halfway through dinner, Jimin is kind of hazy and can only stare down at his empty plate. 

“...min? Jimin. Do you think you’ll be able to eat?”

“Um...I’m not sure. A bite or two maybe. I think I could manage that…”

“You’re handling drinking well. You hold your liquor better than I expected,” Yoongi says. 

“ _Aha ha…_ Thanks.”

_If only he knew…_

Jimin watches as Yoongi cuts his meat delicately and brings it to his mouth. Each piece about the same size. 

“I never noticed this before, but… watching someone eat is-” Jimin pauses. Was he _really_ about to say that? Standing up quickly, Jimin excuses himself before disappearing into the bathroom. Yoongi just watches in total confusion. 

Jimin keeps the water running in the sink as he thinks over what just happened. 

_Watching someone eat is-_

_Is what? What was I about to say?_

_Things are changing. Slowly. One small step at a time._

The bathroom door creaks open loudly as he grips onto the counter. 

“Jimin? You aren’t forcing yourself to throw up, are you?” Yoongi walks right up behind him. “You shouldn’t do that.” 

His heartbeat is so loud in his ears. He can feel Yoongi move from behind him, and he tenses up and flinches when he reaches forward. Reaches to turn off the sink. Jimin lets out the breath he’d been holding. 

“Still, you drank from a glass and one at a restaurant, even.”

“I think… I may have had a little _too_ much to drink. But I haven’t thrown up,” Jimin says.

Yoongi glances down at sees Jimin’s bare hands.

“The chapping of your hands is getting worse. It’s because of me, isn’t it?”

“Huh?” Jimin looks up but Yoongi is already walking away.

“I think it’s about time to go. I’ve eaten most of the dishes we ordered. Please come back to the table once you’ve calmed down.”

The door closes behind him and Jimin is left standing there, beyond confused. 

_Um…_

_What just happened?_

  
  
  
  


“Thank you for dinner,” Jimin tells Yoongi as they walk out of the restaurant. 

“It was nothing. Besides, you only had champagne,” Yoongi pulls his jacket on before turning to look at Jimin. “How about taking a short walk? It will help you sober up.”

  


_I thought that if I went out to eat with Yoongi, it would surely be a fun and pleasant experience._

  


_Like co-workers, we would go to a bar, have some drinks, eat delicious food…_

_Today I finally got to have that experience. So… why was I so worried about it._

  


_Watching someone eat is...almost sensual._

  


“Jimin, do you want to call for a cab once we reach the main road?” Yoongi asks from ahead of him. 

  


_Tell me. Did that feel… “disgusting”?_

  


“Yoongi.”

He stops walking and turns around. 

“I… I feel like you’ve been manipulating me. You’ve done many things to me that I find unpleasant. And I know it’s within my power to go back to the way it used to be. But… Every time I try to, I find myself coming right back to you,” Jimin pauses and looks up to meet Yoongi’s gaze. “Why is that?”

Yoongi just stares at Jimin, “Are you still drunk?”

“That evening… Didn’t it disgust you as well?”

“Didn’t _what_ disgust me?”

“At… At the clinic. You took my raw, chapped… _ugly_ hands and...licked them.” It feels weird saying it would loud. 

“No, it didn’t. I’ll say it again… I’m in love with you, Jimin,” Yoongi says this without hesitation. “Seeing how strongly you reacted to my hands was so arousing it nearly made me tremble.”

Jimin’s racing heart skips a beat at those words. And just by hearing them, his heart picks up a faster pace. 

_I… I have to calm down…_

“Is that what you were thinking? Were you more concerned with the possibility that I found you unpleasant than whether or not you found the situation itself unpleasant? If so, why?”

“I don’t know. I do feel something other than unpleasantness towards you, but I don’t know what to call it. A part of me has to wonder if it isn’t simple dependency. I’m not sure if this feeling should be labeled love,” Jimin says. 

“Personally, I consider feelings of love and romance to be a type of dependency. How about I ask you a simpler question.” Jimin looks up to meet Yoongi’s dark eyes. “Do you dislike it when I touch you?”

Jimin lets his gaze fall to the ground again. “Y-Yes! It confuses me. It feels gross, and I want to get away. And yet… all day today, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you touching me. I feel like I’m going insane! Just the thought of being hugged or, worse yet, touching someone skin to skin is enough to make me shudder with revulsion but…”

“So which would you prefer to do? Push me away or allow me to contaminate you?”

Jimin meets Yoongi’s gaze, and he feels a sinking feeling in his chest at the thought of pushing him away and never seeing him again. But allowing someone to contaminate him? Jimin might just die. 

“Jimin, there is a _switch_ inside of me. One I try to deny exists. One I desperately try to hide because I know it shouldn’t be flipped. But somehow you find it every time and insist on teasing it. You really are…” Yoongi pauses before grabbing Jimin’s wrist. “Come with me.”

“Where?”

Yoongi smirks, “Somewhere I can do even more unpleasant things to you.”

  
  


~

  
  


Why does Jimin follow Yoongi to his apartment? He has no idea. 

Yoongi lets him in and locks the door behind them. 

“Wait! Uh! Yoongi… I-I want to go home after all,” Jimin says, going to grab the door handle. Yoongi places his hand around Jimin’s wrist again. 

“Oh? But weren’t you the one who said you couldn’t stop thinking about me touching you? Aren’t you the least bit curious about what will happen to you if we go further than we did before?”

“I…” Jimin glances behind him at Yoongi’s apartment. 

_ Someone else’s apartment… No. Yoongi’s apartment. _

It had been forever since Jimin went to someone else’s house and experiencing it after this long made him super uncomfortable. 

Yoongi lets go of Jimin’s wrist, and for a second he thinks he’s given up, but he’s wrong. Yoongi grabs Jimin by the waist and hoists him up onto his shoulder. Jimin yelps out of surprise. 

“H-Hey! Put me down!!” Jimin tries to squirm, but Yoongi has a tight hold on him.

“It was looking like you were never going to leave the foyer.”

In just a few seconds, Yoongi drops Jimin onto his bed. Although, Jimin is wearing gloves, he is disgusted by it. 

“Eh!” He yanks his hand off of the bed. “My hands!” Yoongi’s too busy taking off his coat to care. “I want to wash my hands! Please! Let me wash them!” 

Yoongi sits down beside him and leans closer to him.

“No. Does my bed smell like me?” He runs his finger along Jimin’s chin. “Since you haven’t checked off drinking from another person’s glass… I’ll refrain from kissing you.”

Jimin’s eyes widen at the thought of being kissed by Yoongi. Is it gross? Yes. But could it be nice? Also yes. 

Yoongi slides his finger down Jimin’s neck and pulls at this tie, undoing it with the rest of his vest and shirt. 

_ It… It feels like my mind is foggy. I can barely think… I can’t resist.  _

“Beautiful…” Yoongi murmurs as he scans Jimin’s bare abdomen, up and down. 

Jimin trembles and flinches away at Yoongi’s touch, as he runs his hands up Jimin’s side and over his chest. 

_ I can see the contamination spreading out from everywhere his hand touches my skin.  _

_ It’s infecting me.  _

Yoongi’s fingers rub at one of Jimin’s nipples. He squirms under Yoongi’s touch and can’t stop the gasps and small moans from leaving his mouth. It’s not until Yoongi pinches the sensitive nub that Jimin pushes his feet into the mattress, arching away from the overpowering feeling. 

_ Again, just this much has me-  _

Jimin’s own thoughts get cut off when Yoongi switches to licking and kissing the same nipple. But he flicks at the other one, sending Jimin’s body into some kind of overdrive. Something he’s never felt before. 

“Yoo...ngi…”

_ I’ve been contaminated.  _

_ Infected. _

_ And it’s turning my heart to mush.  _

The room is filled with Jimin’s heavy breathing and moans as Yoongi continues to tease him. Jimin’s body quivers at every little touch and kiss. 

“It...It prickles…”

Yoongi stops and looks at him, “Aah… Right. I’m sorry. It seems they’ve become quite red.”

He glances down at the bulge in Jimin’s pants. 

“What would you like me to do now, Jimin?”

_ I’d like you to stop, that’s what!  _

Jimin grabs at his belt buckle and tugs. “H-Here… Down here… It hurts…” 

“May I touch it?” 

He nods frantically. 

Yoongi unclasps the belt and pulls down the zipper before pulling away the fabric of Jimin’s jeans and underwear. His cock pops right up, the head red and already dribbling with precum. Yoongi touches the tip which makes Jimin shudder. He pulls away his finger, the precum sticking to it. 

_ I-It’s too much… I… I can’t hold it in anymore…  _

“Jimin. Do you mind if I do it  _ with  _ you?”

“Huh?  _ With _ ?!” 

Jimin doesn’t even get to answer, which makes the question entirely pointless. Not like Yoongi would listen to him if he said  _ no  _ anyways. 

Yoongi unzips his jeans and lets his cock spring out. He doesn’t even hesitate to take his cock in hand and press it against Jimin’s. 

“Wah!” Jimin nearly jumps away in surprise. Their bodies are so close together and it makes him want to panic but he’s too lost in the pleasure. Jimin can’t help but cry out from the extreme pleasure Yoongi is giving him. His body quivers at the smallest touch. 

“O-Oh god… This… N-No… I…”

There’s an almost wet like sound coming from the friction of their cocks. It can only be described as a kind of  _ squelching  _ sound. 

_ Yoongi’s and mine… are mixing together… _

“This… It scares me!”

It’s hard for Jimin to express discomfort when the sounds leaving his mouth are anything but that. He tries his hardest to hold back his moans but with a feeling like this, it’s nearly impossible. He’s never felt anything this powerful. 

“Yoon...gi… No… C-Contaminated… Dirty…” Jimin can only muster enough breath to mutter out one word sentences. 

Yoongi gazes down at Jimin, his eyes heavy, “Are you afraid of getting contaminated? Or are you afraid of contaminating me?”

The feeling of Yoongi’s hand around his length and the rubbing and friction only drives Jimin closer to his climax. 

“No. No orgasming just yet,” Yoongi tells him as he picks up the pace. 

“Oh god.. Yoongi.. I-I’m going to- I need to- L-Let go… PLEASE! I… If you don’t, I’ll break,” Jimin cries, pressing his head into the mattress. This only makes Yoongi cocky and he does the opposite of what Jimin tells him. He continues to rub his cock against his, pushing Jimin  _ way  _ over the edge. 

He lets out the loudest cry of pleasure, something that he’d probably feel embarrassed about later. Jimin can feel the warm and slick cum splatter up his chest and all over his stomach as he pushes himself off the bed, his back arched. His legs give out on him and he slips back down onto the mattress, nearly crying from the overwhelming sensation that’s running through his body. And that’s what he does. He rides out his orgasm by crying. 

  
  


~

  
  


While Jimin takes a shower, Yoongi brews some coffee. The strong aroma fills the apartment in the most pleasant way possible. 

“I’ll have some coffee ready- Oh. There are unopened bottles of mineral water in the fridge. If you’d rather,” Yoongi tells Jimin as he comes into the kitchen with a towel around his neck. 

“Actually, I’ll take the coffee… Thank you.” 

“You don’t need to force yourself. Even if you don’t hate me now whether or not you can drink coffee made by another is its own hurdle,” Yoongi walks over the fridge and takes out a water, handing it to Jimin. “Sorry about your clothes. I’m sure mine are uncomfortable...but please try to tolerate them until you get home. You can burn them afterward, if you’d like.”

“ **Burn them?!** I-I won’t do that… I’m not  _ that  _ bad.”

Honestly, Jimin feels kind of cozy in Yoongi’s clothes. They fit him perfectly and smell like fresh laundry, so it’s surprisingly not bothering him at all. 

Yoongi grabs onto Jimin’s hand suddenly. 

“Jimin. Could I ask for you to be dependent on me?”

“... Okay.”

“You know, I noticed this before, but you look almost child-like with your hair like that,” Yoongi says.

“ _ Child _ -like? At our age, wouldn’t it be better to say younger?”

“Would it? Ah well, whichever word you choose… I like your hair better like this.”

Jimin would usually part his hair so his forehead was showing, but since he just got out of the shower, it fans over and covers his entire forehead.

He quickly turns around, “I’m going to go fix it.”

“Huh? Why? You don’t have work today.” 

Yoongi takes the opportunity to ruffle the top of Jimin’s head, feeling his soft locks. 

Without warning, Jimin spins around smacks Yoongi’s hand,  _ hard _ , and backs away into the wall. 

“Ah… I...I’m sorry…” 

There’s already a red mark showing on Yoongi’s hand where Jimin slapped him. 

“No. It was my fault. I touched you without warning. I’m sorry.” There’s a moment of silence between them. Some kind of weird tension fills the air. “Uh, I’ll call a taxi in a few minutes for you.”

  
  
  


Jimin sits on the sofa, still holding the water bottle Yoongi had given him just a few minutes ago. He feels terrible for hitting Yoongi like that but...it was almost like a reflex. Something he couldn’t help. 

“Jimin, do you have the whole day off today?” Yoongi asks, coming around to the front of the sofa. 

“Today? Yeah…”

“If you aren’t entirely put off by the idea, would you like to go shopping with me today?”

Jimin perks his head up, “Shopping?”

“Yeah. I mean…I ruined your suit the other day.”

“Oh. R-Right… That.”

“Would it be hard to go outside today?”

Jimin shakes his head, “No, it should be okay…”

  
  


_ “We’ll start over as many times as you need.” _

  
  


“Okay,” Jimin smiles, “Let’s go shopping together."


	6. Bonus- Yoongi, Jimin, and clothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's a little bonus story from the end of book 2!! It's a little cute and funny, but also brings you inside Jimin's ritual on what he has to do when he gets home from being outside in the dirty world.

Yoongi sits down next to Jimin on the sofa while they wait for their taxi. 

"Jimin, I notice you always carry a spare pair of gloves with you. But what about the rest of your clothing? What if you get damp in the rain or spill a drink? Does it bother you?"

"Well, _either_ is unpleasant but if I say to myself "it's only until I get home" or "it's for work, so it can't be helped." Then I can tolerate it for a while. Though, when I do finally get a chance to wash my hands, it feels like I was them extra hard..."

"I see."

"The first thing I do when I get home is undress in the foyer. I put the dirty clothes in a basket and leave them there until I send them out for cleaning. Washables I will take right to the washing machine. I made a point of finding an apartment with a straight shot from the front door to the laundry," Jimin explains. 

"Ah. I've heard there are people who change clothes in their foyer so as not to track mud and dirt into the house."

"Before, I had to send my suits out for dry cleaning. I never liked that. But now there are machine-washable ones you can wash at home!" 

Jimin gets a little too excited explaining this to Yoongi. 

"Is that right? Well, that's nice," Yoongi smiles at Jimin, even though he's going on and on about laundry. "So. The question is...just how far do you undress in your foyer? Just your outer coat? Or do you strip down to your underwear?" 

" **And why would you want to know that?** " Jimin stutters.

"Do you get _completely_ naked?"

Jimin quickly stands up from the couch, " **WHAT DOES IT MATTER, ANYWAY?!** " 

Yoongi chuckles, "It's a very important question, actually. Oh, and given your reaction, can I assume _completely naked_ is correct?" 


	7. I don't love you at all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While out on the town with Yoongi, Jimin daydreams about the older man kissing him. His desire quickly overcomes his phobia of human touch, and he gives himself over to his counselor's hands for relief. Watch as the relationship between the corporate secretary and his counselor continues to boil over in this story of love and therapy.

Yoongi stops Jimin once the front door shuts. 

"Do you have everything?" 

"I think so." 

_It feels so strange... leaving from someone else's foyer._

_Especially in such casual clothes._

Yoongi looks up and down at Jimin's outfit. "Is it bothering you, wearing clothes that aren't yours? Should we stop by your apartment on the way?"

Jimin shakes his head, "No. I'm not really having any issues with it. Is that weird?"

"No. Not really."

Yoongi leads them out of the apartment, Jimin following on his tail like an obedient puppy. 

"It's better to wear an existing suite when getting fitted for a new one. But now that I'm outside, I know if I went home, I'd immediately take a bath, and then I'd want to disinfect myself, which would only lead to cleaning my entire apartment. It would take too much time. And this is one of my few days off," Jimin says as he looks up and smiles. "Instead of spending time on all of that, I'd rather go out somewhere." 

_With you._

"Then shall we go?" Yoongi asks, returning the smile. 

_I was able to do something like...like **that**. _

_If I can do that, I feel like I can do anything._

~

The bell rings as they enter the tailors and they're immediately greeted. 

"Welcome! What sort of suit are you looking for?" The tailor asks, looking at Yoongi. 

"Oh uh... It's not for me. I'd like to order a tailor-made suit for him," he says, pointing at Jimin. 

"We have easy-order and full-order options available."

"Easy order, please," Jimin says. 

The tailor nods, "Very good. This way, sir." 

Jimin turns and looks at Yoongi, "Are you sure this is okay?"

"It's not a present. I'm merely replacing something I ruined." 

_Something he ruined..._

Jimin starts to blush at the thought of it. 

"You're making the clerk wait." 

He turns and follows the tailor towards the back of the store. He has Jimin take off his coat and step onto a pedestal so he can take measurements. 

_It feels weird having someone buy me a suit._

_Especially after we... We did that..._

"Sir?"

"Oh! Yes?"

"I'd like to take your wrist measurements. Could you please roll up your sleeve?" 

"O-Oh, um... I'm sorry. Could you please measure over my clothes?" Jimin asks. The tailor stares at him in confusion. "If you don't mind older measurements, I do have more detailed ones with me..." 

"As you wish. But to be safe, I'll take your waist and hip measurements again. 

Jimin lets out a sigh of relief. 

_If it were possible, I'd skip getting measured entirely. But I've never been to this tailor, so it can't be helped. Each one does things their own way..._

_Also, it really feels like someone is staring holes in the back of my head._

The tailor comes and brings swatches of different fabrics, showing Jimin and asking which one he'd prefer. After he chooses, the tailor disappears into the back. 

"That fabric looked very flattering," Yoongi says. 

Jimin smiles sheepishly at the compliment. It makes his stomach get filled with butterflies. 

"Your suit should be ready in three weeks. Thank you for coming." 

~

"Do you not wear suits, Yoongi?" 

"Not really. Only for weddings, funerals, or if I have to go recruiting," he says. 

"I think you'd look good in one..." 

Before Yoongi can answer, the elevator doors slide open and a group of people shuffles in. Yoongi turns so that he's blocking the people from Jimin, but accidentally gets pushed against him. 

"I'm sorry." 

"It's okay," Jimin answers, trying to pull his face away from Yoongi's chest. His heart starts to pick up its pace. 

_I thought I could do anything now but I guess I was deluding myself._

He clenches his hands into fists and holds his breath. 

_Oh god. I really want to wash my hands._

Just as quick as the group got on, they're getting off. Jimin and Yoongi step off when the group gets further away and Jimin lets out the breath he'd been holding. 

"Did that tire you?"

Jimin laughs softly, "A little. Even at the store, and the clerk barely touched my arm. I guess it wasn't going to be fixed overnight." 

He feels like he should have known that. Expecting something to fix itself so quickly is delusional. 

"Why don't you sit over there?" Yoongi points towards a bench. 

"Hm? Okay..." 

As Jimin sits down, he gets out a pack of antibacterial wipes from his bag. He slips off his gloves and washes his hands with the wipe. It seems to take some kind of pressure off of his mind. 

_I know doing it is pointless._

_Struggling through each day like this is annoying._

_Yet last night... somehow I actually asked him to touch me._

Jimin panics at his own thoughts and starts to blush heavily. 

_"What am I doing, imaging that while in public?!"_

_I wonder what Yoongi is thinking... looking at me right now._

_Maybe under that expressionless facade of his...he's laughing at me._

He puts his head into his hands and groans softly.

_"B-but... anyone in that situation would have... I-It's an involuntary physical response."_

"I got you some water. Would you like a drink? Jimin?" 

"Ah! Sorry!" Jimin looks up in surprise. "Oh. Thank you." He takes the water from Yoongi. 

"You were scowling just now," Yoongi points out. 

"I-I was? I didn't mean to." 

"I know I have little right to say this, given what I've already done to you, but don't push yourself, okay?" 

Yoongi suddenly being so caring is surprising and it definitely catches Jimin off guard. 

_What he's done._

His mind goes straight back to last night and the image plays itself in the back of his mind. He can hear his moans like a goddamn record on repeat. 

Yoongi stares down at Jimin, wondering why he's acting so weird. 

"Thanks, but I-I'd rather not hear that from you," Jimin tells him. 

_That's right. If I could do something like that...shouldn't I be drinking out of the same bottle be easy?_

_I may not be able to do it, but..._

Jimin clutches the bottle in his hands, "Um... Yoongi? Could... Could you please take a drink first?" 

Yoongi's eyes widen slightly, "Really? All right." He takes the bottle from Jimin's hands and undoes the cap, bringing the bottle to his lips and taking a few sips. Jimin can only watch with some kind of anticipation and worry.

"I assume when you said to take a drink, you meant out of the same bottle?" Yoongi hands the water back to Jimin and he holds it in his hands, staring down at it with a racing heart. 

_"Since you haven't checked off drinking from another person's glass, I'll refrain from kissing you."_

_Then, in effect..._

_By drinking out of this bottle now, I'm-_

As Jimin brings the bottle closer to his lips, he imagines Yoongi lifting up his chin and coming closer for a kiss. He freezes, just as the bottle is mear inches away from his lips. Then, he sets it down quickly and clenches his hands between his thighs. 

Yoongi crouches down, "Are you okay?"

"Y-Yes. I'm fine. I'm sorry." Jimin feels as if he can barely breathe and his stomach is clenching, just as tight as his thighs. 

"Let's save this for another time," Yoongi states as he puts the cap back onto the bottle. 

_What is this? What's happening to me?_

Jimin could feel his legs start to quiver. 

_I used Yoongi's soap and shampoo at his house. I'm wearing his clothes._

_My whole body...smells of him._

Yoongi suddenly tugs Jimin up by the collar of his coat, making him flinch. 

"I'm sorry. But, ah... you shouldn't lean too far forward. That shirt is a little big on you." 

"Is it?" Jimin glances down and realizes you could see down right down the shirt. "Oh!" He yanks it up quickly. 

"Why don't we call it a day and go home. We both have work tomorrow, after all."

Jimin just continues to stare at the ground, feeling extremely uncomfortable at the moment. 

"Jimin. Are you sure you're all right?"

"I-It isn't what you think. It's not..." 

His legs are still quivering as he keeps one hand between his legs. 

_"I can't move."_

Yoongi just stands there, watching Jimin act weird. "Let me guess. You're hard? Why?" 

_"I don't know."_

_What is going on? Why is this happening to me?_

Yoongi looks around the room before crouching down and pulling Jimin's coat closed. 

"For now, just keep your coat closed. Do you think you can walk as far as the curb for a taxi? Let's go somewhere no one is looking." 

~

Yoongi takes Jimin back to his apartment. It feels weird because Jimin hasn't been home in nearly two days. He just someone keeps ending up here. 

"Well, here we are, I guess. Back at my apartment. Are you sure you're all right with this? You can hang your coat on that hanger," Yoongi says. 

"O-Oh... Um... Okay..." Jimin says. If he has to be honest, he's in a complete daze right now. His body isn't doing what it's supposed to and it's driving him _crazy_. His hands don't want to work right and they fumble at his coat buttons. Yoongi notices his failing efforts. 

"Here, let me help," Yoongi helps undo the buttons and hangs it in the closet. "Do you want a shower?"

"I... I'm fine..." Jimin mumbles. His legs are shaking and he feels like they could give out at any second. He's so uncomfortable and he doesn't know what to do about it. But Yoongi does. He wraps his hands around Jimin's waist and starts to unzip his jeans. His fingers pull down at the waistband of his underwear and it frees Jimin's erection. Already extremely hard and nearly covered in precum. 

"Wow. This bad already?" Yoongi says, chuckling a bit when he sees how bad it's twitching. "I'm sorry. That must hurt." All Jimin can do is nod as Yoongi holds onto him from behind. 

"I don't get it. Why my body and subconscious act contrary to the rest of me?" Jimin shakes his head, "Yoongi... Please... Don't laugh at me." 

"I won't." Yoongi moves and crouches in front of Jimin. He keeps his fingers on Jimin's hips as he kisses near the base of his cock. Just something as small as that makes Jimin's knees give out. Yoongi just wraps his arms around his thighs and picks him up. Jimin has to place his hands on Yoongi's shoulders to keep himself from falling. 

"Jimin... Do you mind if I suck it?" 

"Ah?! But if you do something that dirty...you'll die." 

"I'll what? Die? You mean from a bacterial infection?" Yoongi can't help but laugh a bit. "You know, I just might." 

"What?!" Jimin tries to push away. "Um! L-Let's not after all. Please let go!" 

"But if I let you go...you'll fall onto the dirty floor." 

Jimin definitely gets irked by the thought of it. 

"Hold this," Yoongi says as he pulls up Jimin's shirt. 

"Wait-" 

Yoongi starts from the base of his cock and licks up the side. This makes Jimin cry out and he has to grip onto Yoongi's shoulder. He continues to give each side equal attention with his tongue and also gives little kisses as he goes. 

"Jimin," Yoongi looks up, his eyes dark, "Be honest. Are you stopping yourself from thrusting your hips? How about...I'll suck while you thurst."

Jimin shakes his head, "N-No... My knees...they'll give out again. I... I can't..." 

Yoongi slips the tip of Jimin's cock into his mouth slowly and Jimin cries out again, falling forward. 

"Yoongi... W-Why..."

_Why... won't you give me more?_

_I want you... to suck harder._

Jimin's cock slowly slides deeper into Yoongi's throat, and the feeling is unlike anything he's felt before. Yoongi pulls back, giving the tip little kitten licks. He keeps his arms tight around Jimin's thighs as he sucks, so he doesn't topple over. Jimin's moans and the slurping sound from Yoongi fill the room. 

_W-What if... because we did this... Yoongi really does die? Then what would I do?_

"Yoongi..."

He slowly glances up and the lustful look in his eyes makes Jimin's heart skip a beat. Yoongi keeps eye contact and he slides Jimin's cock all the way to the back of his throat, and he swallows, his throat constricting slightly around the tip. And he sucks harder. Just as he begins to go harder, Jimin can't hold back. He lets out a mewl of pleasure as he cums, right into Yoongi's mouth. He knees give out and he falls into Yoongi's lap and is left heavy breathing right into his shoulder. It's when he hears Yoongi swallow that he sits back up. 

"No! Wait! Yoon-" 

"What?"

"I-I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" 

"It's okay."

"But what if?! A-All because you swallowed it?!"

Yoongi laughs. 

_Did he just...?_

_I knew it. He laughed at me._

"So...Would you mind staying like this until you're able to stand? Or would you rather I carry you to the sofa or bed?" Yoongi asks, his hands still wrapped around Jimin. 

"Yoongi. If...just _if,_ mind you...I said I was falling in love with you...what would happen?"

Yoongi looks at Jimin, "If you did... I would ask you to be my boyfriend."

"Um... A-And if I said I would be? Then what?"

"Then... I wouldn't let you go home. And I would do even more things to you that would make you cry."

Jimin's eyes widen and he's suddenly overthinking everything. "You should let go now."

"But aren't you going to say that you love me?"

"No. I don't love you at all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for a delayed update!! I went to Chicago and saw TWICE in concert. It's was great. I'm back now though! I'll get back to update almost daily if I can. I want to finish this series before I leave for college. 
> 
> I hope you continue to enjoy it! I feel like...I'm not writing enough. Like, I could be adding more? I'm not sure. Maybe that's just me doubting myself. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, as always <3
> 
> -Tae


	8. So Cruel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimin falls sick with a cold and Yoongi can't help but worry for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh, I feel like I just have to apologize because this story is mostly dialogue. It's just...a lot of talking rather than storytelling or anything. The dialogue gets the story across but I just feel like it's boring to read. I'M SO SAD. I'm a horrible writer lol 
> 
> But still, thank you for reading all the way through to this point. I'll continue to post if you guys really do like this. 
> 
> -Tae

"Are you sure you want to go home like that? It's cold outside. At least dry your hair," Yoongi says. 

Jimin stands at the door, his wet hair plastered to his forehead. "I'll be fine. I just need to run to the taxi."

"So you're _literally_ running away?" Yoongi puts his hand on the door frame, almost looming over Jimin. "Did my joke hit too close to home?" 

"I-I have work tomorrow. I really ought to go home tonight. Goodnight. Thank you for letting me visit." Jimin hurries out of the door with Yoongi standing in the threshold, watching him leave. Once Jimin gets on the elevator, Yoongi closes the door and walks back to the living room. He spots the ID card case that used to be Jimin's, sitting on the coffee table. 

_If...I said I was falling in love with you...what would happen?_

Yoongi sighs at the thought as he holds the ID case in his hand. His fingers run over the back pocket and he feels something inside of it. He pulls out something he feels like he shouldn't have. 

"A key?" 

~

When Jimin gets back to his own apartment, for the first time in nearly two days, he feels at ease. It feels good to take a shower in his own bathroom and lay down on his own bed. He plops down face first after he gets out of the shower. 

"Finally home..." 

_So much happened these last few days... It feels like it's been... a month._

Jimin's eyes open slowly and it takes him a second to realize that he'd been asleep. 

_Oh crap! Today's Monday! Work!_

_When did I fall asleep? I didn't even get under the covers!_

He almost lunges for his phone to check the time. 

_Oh thank god. I'll make it just in time._

Jimin lets out a sneeze before he scrambles out of bed and gets ready for work. 

~

As Jimin basically speed walks to work, he runs into Taehyung. 

"Jimin! Hey!" Taehyung calls out. 

"Taehyung. Good morning." 

"Morning. It's unusual to see you coming in so late. Usually, you're here long before anyone else."

"I, um, overslept this morning," Jimin admits. 

"Oh. No wonder you seem a little off today."

"I do?"

Taehyung shrugs, "Hard to pinpoint how, though. Did you change your hair? Before, it always looked, I dunno, perfectly coifed. But this is more...natural, I guess. It's a nice look on you."

Jimin blushes slightly, "Oh. Um... I, uh, just didn't have time this morning..."

"Well, hey, I'll see ya later!" Taehyung smiles before bounding away towards the building. 

Jimin turns and looks at his reflection. His hair wasn't styled like it usually was. And he kind of knew why. 

_I like your hair better like this._

Yoongi said it made him look more child-like. 

_But when I leave it down, it gets in my eyes. Maybe I should have trimmed it._

Jimin's phone buzzes in his pocket. 

_This isn't the time to be worrying about my hair._

There's a text from Yoongi waiting for him.

_"I found a key in the cardholder you gave me. I'll give it back next time I see you."_

Come to think of it...Jimin did put a spare key in the holder. He completely forgot about it. 

_"And I hope you slept well. You looked nearly too tired to stand yesterday."_

Jimin puts his phone back into his pocket and heads down the hall. 

_Maybe I won't trim my hair..._

_~_

"Jimin, about tomorrow's preliminary site inspection..." 

He's more focused on what he's typing than to what others are saying. 

"Jimin?"

"Ah! Yes, sir? I'm sorry."

"I was talking about tomorrow's preliminary site inspection. If there's time, I'd like to stop by the Kanda branch beforehand."

"I'll check your schedule right away, sir."

Just as he's turning to look at the schedule, he feels a tickle in his nose. Jimin manages to sneeze so hard that he knocks his pen and some papers off his desk. 

"Is everything alright?" Hyungwoo asks. 

"I'm sorry. I'll be sure to pick them up later." 

Hyungwoo looks over at Jimin, "You're looking a little red in the face. And you've been sneezing a lot too. Are you sure you're not catching a cold?"

"A cold?" 

"Perhaps you should check your temperature. Either way, it's almost the end of the day and there's nothing left on my schedule. Why don't you go home early?"

Jimin shakes his head, "That's all right, sir, I'm fine."

"No, no. I insist. If you're sick, you shouldn't make it worse."

" _Er_...Yes, that _is_ true, but..."

_If I really am sick and wind up needing another day off, it would be an inconvenience for him, wouldn't it?_

"You have a good point. Thank you very much. Since you insist, I will leave a little early..."

Jimin makes sure to put on a face mask before he heads home. If he really is sick, he doesn't want to spread it around. 

_Great. I really could be getting sick. Sleeping on top of the covers last night was a bad idea. I should go to bed early and nip this in the bud._

He almost goes straight to his medicine cabinet when he gets to his apartment. 

"Oh, good. I dod have some cold medicine left over." Jimin pops them out of the package and washes them down with water. 

_I don't have the energy to make dinner... Maybe after a quick nap..._

He gets under the covers and closes his eyes, the medicine is already taking effect and makes him drowsy. Suddenly, his phone buzzes on the bedside table. Of course, it's Yoongi. 

_Come to think of it... I haven't responded to Yoongi's text yet._

"Hello?"

" _Hello._ "

"Yoongi... I'm sorry I haven't replied to your message."

" _No, you haven't. You're usually quick to respond. I was worried I'd made you mad._ "

Jimin laughs, "You picked up on that, huh? Well, I am mad at you. And I forgot I put a spare key in that card case."

" _Very careless. What if you lost the case? Some stranger could find it, break it, and then what?_ "

"There aren't many people out there...as strange as you are, Yoongi. I'm not worried." 

Yoongi's silent for a second. 

" _Are you not feeling well, Jimin?_ "

"Huh?"

" _I can hear it in your voice._ "

"No. I think I'm coming down with a cold."

" _Are you alright?_ "

_I think the cold medicine is kicking in. I'm starting to nod off. Did that medicine have a sleep aid in it?_

"It's not that bad. I'll be fine," Jimin tells him. "I left work a little early today so I could rest."

" _I see. Once you feel better, I'll come by and-"_

Yoongi is greeted by complete silence. 

"Jimin? Uh... Jimin??" 

_Beeeeee Beeeeee_

He hangs up and tries calling again, but he gets Jimin's voicemail instead. He calls again, but still no answer. 

"Just a cold, huh?" 

If Yoongi has to be honest, he's actually worried. For someone to just pass out on the phone like that... So, he gets on his bike and hurries over to Jimin's apartment. 

He tries calling again when he arrives, but there's still no answer. So, he takes the liberty of heading up to Jimin's apartment and using the spare key he found in the cardcase to get inside. 

"...min?"

"Jimin."

Jimin's eyes open slowly and it takes him a second to realize what's going on. 

"JIMIN."

"Yoo...Yoongi?"

_What's with that expression?_

"Are you okay?"

"Y-Yes. I told you I was fine..." Jimin mutters. He notices that Yoongi is squeezing his shoulders. 

_Why is he even here?_

"You suddenly dropped off during our call. And then you didn't answer no matter how many times I dialed. I started to worry it wasn't just a cold you caught."

_It's another expression I haven't seen on his face before._

"I'm sorry for barging into your apartment uninvited. I used that spare key. It took me about an hour to get here. I spent that time wondering which would disturb you less, your landlord or ambulance personnel coming into your apartment. Then I remembered you had said no to an ambulance before."

Jimin stares up at Yoongi, "Aah. I see. Okay. I must have fell asleep during our call."

"Fell asleep? You didn't pass out?" Yoongi cocks his head. 

"No. About twenty minutes before you called, I took some cold medicine. I suddenly get really drowsy. Must be a side effect."

"...Oh." 

"By the way," Jimin starts. "You spent an hour out in this cold worrying over how not to upset me?"

Yoongi stands up from the bed, "Don't worry yourself over that. Anyway. I'm sorry I barged into your apartment. I'll leave right away." He walks to the other side of the bed, towards the bed side table. "Should I set the spare key here?"

"Oh... Sure."

_I can hardly believe my eyes._

_Someone other than me is in my apartment._

_Bare hands touched the doorknob to my room. He wore a coat that could be covered in contaminants past the foyer. His socked feet that have touched who knows what walked all over my floors. Hands covered in bacteria and viruses touched my sheets. Air breathed by someone else is mixing with the air of my apartment. As soon as he leaves I'm going to need to disinfect everything._

Jimin didn't even realize he grabbed onto the hem of Yoongi's coat until he stared at him in confusion. 

"Ah! Um! Yoongi? C-Could you hand me that water bottle?" He asks, ripping his hand away. 

_Hold on. What am I saying? If he does that, I..._

"Oh. Sure." Yoongi grabs the bottle of water and hands it to Jimin. 

As Jimin drinks it, some of the water slips out of his mouth and drips down his chin, to his chest. "Ah!" He wipes his mouth. 

"You all right?" 

"My hand slipped, and I spilled... Maybe my fever is making me shaky."

_Don't do it. With Yoongi in my room, I..._

"Jimin. Should I hold the bottle for you?" 

He nods.

_Stop it. Tell him you don't need him to!_

Yoongi holds onto the bottle and tilts it to Jimin's mouth, helping him drink it. 

"Um...Thanks." 

He takes the bottle and puts the cap back on before setting it on the table. 

"Yoongi. I know this wasn't planned and that I didn't choose to let you in but...if I can prevent myself from disinfecting everything after you leave, do you think that could count as passing number nine on my list?" 

"Can you actually do that?" Yoongi asks. 

"I think I can." 

"Are you sure? You have no idea what I touched before you woke up."

"I can do it!"

Yoongi smiles slightly, "Very good, Jimin. I'm proud of you. Anyway, I'm sorry. I've overstayed my welcome. If you need anything, call me."

"You're leaving?"

"Yeah. Unless you need me...then I can stay. Or can you handle my being here for no specific reason?"

"If you stay here too long, won't you catch my cold?" Jimin asks.

"Jimin, saying things like that... You know you're just going to cruelly leave me hanging again." Yoongi moves forward, pressing his hand against the bed as he leans super close to Jimin. "Well? Will you infect me with your cold?" He whispers. "Of course, if that were an honest request, you'd just run away again."

"N-No... Don't want you... to get sick..." 

Yoongi slides his finger under Jimin's chin, lifting his head up slightly. 

"Yoongi...Y-Your hands... They're cold."

"They only feel cold because you're feverish," he says. His pointer finger caresses Jimin's cheek. "Open your mouth. Open it and stick out your tongue."

_N-No... I don't want to._

Jimin squints his eyes shut and turns his head away from Yoongi. He just continues to slowly run his fingers under Jimin's chin, up his jawline and back down. 

_I'm not..._

He finally opens his mouth slowly. 

_I'll never..._

Yoongi leans closer, opening his mouth as well. 

" _Huaaa?!_ Aah!" 

"Touch my tongue. Or is it all right if I lick yours?" 

"Na...Nah!" Jimin resists but still keeps his mouth open for some reason. He grips onto the sides of Yoongi's coat. "D-don..."

"But Jimin...you're just lying here with your mouth hanging wide open. And you know what I'll do to you."

"Nah..."

"Jimin. If you don't hurry up and say yes, you're going to start drooling."

"Nah! Dahn...Uanna...evah..."

_If he did that to me... I..._

Yoongi suddenly pulls away and taps Jimin's chest. "Why is it, do you think, that when your mind says no, your body says yes?" Jimin closes his eyes before Yoongi can do anything, but he doesn't. He just turns away.

He grabs the candy on the bedside table and pushes it into Jimin's mouth. Jimin slaps his hand over his mouth in surprise.

"Once you've finished that, eat something, even if it's just a little. You need calories," Yoongi says, before leaving the room. 

Jimin takes the candy out of his mouth, looks at it in total disgust before wrapping it in a tissue and throwing it in the trash. He then grabs the covers and pulls them over his head, hiding underneath them. He curls up, locking his hands between his thighs as he shivers. The thought and image of Yoongi being so close to him plays over in his mind. 

Yoongi gets out of the apartment and grabs his bike. He sighs. 

"You can be so cruel, Jimin..." 


	9. I Thought We Were Watching A Movie?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoongi and Jimin's meetings are starting to seem more like dates, although Jimin is too afraid to admit that. 
> 
> Yoongi invites Jimin over to watch a movie with him. Of course, Jimin agrees, slightly nervous. How bad can it be to just sit and watch a movie with someone? 
> 
> Pretty bad.

Jimin wakes up in a cold sweat. The dream he had wasn't necessarily a nightmare, but it was bad enough to make it feel like one. He sits up and grabs his phone, quickly writing out a panicked text to Yoongi.

He's still half asleep when he receives it. Yoongi feels for his phone on his bed and squints at the screen, reading the text. 

_"Did you disinfect?"_

"Disinfect?" 

_Do you mean before I entered your apartment? No, I didn't._

_"No. I mean when you got home to your apartment. Did you disinfect yourself?"_

_No._

_"Please do."_

Yoongi just stares at the screen, wondering why Jimin is being so pushy. 

_No._

Jimin grips his phone in his hands. 

"Why? Why won't you? Please, Yoongi! Please disinfect!" 

~

_I wonder what you'd call our relationship._

"Your outfit. I see they finished your suit. That color looks good on you," Yoongi says to Jimin.

"Taehyung even asked me where I had it made. He said it's in excellent taste."

"I'm glad," Yoongi smiles, "but, please don't wear it when you visit me."

Jimin narrows his eyes, "Uh... why not?"

"After all the trouble we went through to have it made, it'd be a waste if I got it dirty again."

He gets extremely flustered when he realizes what Yoongi's talking about. 

" **Then... Don't get it dirty _._** _"_

Yoongi laughs, "I won't." 

_Yoongi doesn't ask questions. He didn't ask why I knocked his hand away. He doesn't ask about the day I was sick. He doesn't ask what number ten on my list will be. And then when the weekend approaches, he sends me the same text. Then sometimes we go out and spend the day together._

"Yoongi. What's it like for... for men to date each other?" Jimin asks as they walk down the sidewalk, side by side. 

"Do you mean us?"

"N-No, just in general."

Yoongi shrugs, "I assume it's the same as with men and women."

"It isn't the same."

"Is that right?" 

_Will all this end if I finally fill in number ten?_

"Jimin, tell me which is less unpleasant. Going to an aquarium or going to a zoo?" 

So, Jimin and Yoongi spend the afternoon at the aquarium. Yoongi takes him through the attractions. Jimin is fascinated by the walkway that's a huge glass tube, with all the fish swimming around you. He looks at weird sea noodles that stick up from the sand like bendy straws. They watch a dolphin show together. It really seems like something a couple would do, but they just sit next to each other, a small gap between them, but no contact whatsoever. Yoongi takes Jimin to where they can feed penguins. Of course, Jimin refuses, but he stays by Yoongi's side as he drops fish to the little waddling animals. 

_I don't see any other male couples here. And Yoongi doesn't look like he's enjoying himself. Though I guess that's normal._

_Sure, this is different from our normal routine...but something feels...off. Like two gears are not aligning properly._

_Why is that?_

"Yoongi. When we were feeding the penguins did you deliberately toss that fish so they'd come at me?!" 

Yoongi just looks at Jimin, his face expressionless, "My hand slipped."

"One of them nearly pecked me! Now my pant leg is dirty! See? Right here!" Jimin points down at his pants. 

"Where? Your pant leg isn't dirty at all?" Yoongi says from his crouched position.

"Yes, it is! Right down there!"

Yoongi looks up at him with a face that says _"seriously, you're just imagining things, shut up and deal with it."_

"Never mind. It's too dark to see anyway..."

_What are we doing? Are we really meeting up as a way to help me overcome my germaphobia? Because this seems more like a..._

_No. I'm imagining things._

"Hey, Jimin."

"Y-Yes?"

"Next weekend, would you like to watch a movie?" 

"Oh, um...a movie? Together?" Jimin asks, a little nervous. 

_I don't like theaters._

"At a movie theater...or my apartment. Whichever makes you more comfortable."

_We **are** meeting to help me overcome my germaphobia._

_Right?_

_~_

Next weekend rolls around a little faster than Jimin anticipated. He's actually a little nervous to be back at Yoongi's apartment. Especially when all those...other things happened there. 

He tentatively reaches out and rings the doorbell. It seems as if Yoongi answers right away. 

"Did you cut your hair?"

_Why is that the first thing he asks?_

"Oh um...a little," Jimin touches at his bangs, which are now slightly shorter. "The other day at the office, Taehyung said it looked nice down. So I thought I might try wearing it like that sometimes." 

"I see." For some reason, Yoongi's voice sounds kind of cold. 

_Shit. I brought up Taehyung in front of him again. It just popped out._

"Sounds like a good idea. It suits you. Come in."

"Th-thank you." Jimin takes off his scarf and wraps it around a hanger with his coat. 

_It's true that Taehyung said that. So why do I feel so guilty about saying it?_

"Have a seat on the sofa."

"Okay..." 

It's not even halfway through the movie when Yoongi pulls Jimin into his lap. His hands slowly riding up his sides and to the front of his chest. He's basically feeling him up when they're supposed to be watching the movie. 

"Yoo... _mmh..._ Yoongi, I-I thought you said... we'd watch a movie..." Jimin breathes out. 

"That was the plan, yes. But _you_ were the one not paying attention to it."

_God. Why did I think it'd be a good idea to come here? I should've seen this coming a mile away..._

Yoongi shuts the TV off suddenly. 

"Your hair. Tell me again. What was it that Taehyung said about it?" 

Jimin turns to look over his shoulder at him, "Um... Taehyung?"

"You cut it because he said you should, right?" 

"Um! I-I..."

_"I like your hair better like this."_

"Did he compliment you on it?" 

When Jimin stays silent, Yoongi pinches at his nipples through his shirt.

" _Mmh..._ No..."

Yoongi lets go and instead grabs Jimin's hands. He slides his fingers under the fabric off the gloves, but Jimin flinches and pulls away. 

"No! Stop! Don't take my gloves off..." 

He looks at Jimin, surprised at his strong reaction. "All right. That reminds me." He slides Jimin off his lap and grabs something from the side table. It's a box. Yoongi takes whatever it is out of the package and tosses the box to the side. "Here. I bought this for you."

Jimin opens his hand, not sure what it is, and he's still slightly confused when Yoongi drops it in his hand. 

"For me? What...is it?" He looks down at it, and if he has to be honest, it looks like a baby's pacifier but what would be the nipple is hard plastic and...longer. There's a ring at the end of it. Big enough to slip your finger through. 

"It goes inside and helps you... _adjust_." 

Jimin cocks his head. 

_What in the living hell is he talking about? Inside...?_

Yoongi then slips his hands under Jimin's knees and pulls them up. "Down here." His fingers rub at a spot that Jimin wants _no one_ touching. "Don't you remember the other day I asked what it's like for two guys to date." 

"BWAH?! NOO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! W-WHAT ARE YOU-?! I-I COULD NEVER-! IT'S TOO DISGUSTING! S-S-SOME FOREIGN OBJECT WILL NEVER FIT IN...IN _THERE_!" 

"I made sure to pick a small one. I doubt it'll hurt at all, even the first time," Yoongi says, holding the plug between his fingers. 

"TH-THAT ISN'T THE PROBLEM!" Jimin tries to squirm out of Yoongi's grasp. "Anyway! Th-that is _not_ happening! Don't buy such strange and... and lewd things for me ever again!"

Yoongi obviously doesn't care. He knows well enough know that Jimin is just saying this because he's worried. So, Yoongi presses two fingers against Jimin's entrance through his pants. He cries out in surprise and presses his knees to his mouth. 

_Wha...?_

_Stop..._

_St..._

"Yo...on...Yoongi... D-Don't... D-don't you... ever... dare... do it... n-no means no..." Jimin slumps back into Yoongi. Despite his protests, he's not stopping him. 

"Well... I could just use my fingers instead but I thought you'd be more receptive to something that could be disinfected first. You'd worry about bacteria if I use my fingers, right?" 

"I-I said... no. Don't..." 

"So you _prefer_ my fingers?" Yoongi asks, now only using one finger to rub and tease. 

_What? Why?_

_This is disgusting! All he's doing is rubbing down there..._

_...but... that weird feeling is coming over me again..._

Jimin hugs his knees to his chest and hides his face. 

_He'll notice!_

"Hey...It'll feel really good inside," he whispers. 

_Lies! All lies! You liar! You're just trying to trick me! All this is dirty... disgusting..._

Jimin glances at the plug, which is now sitting on the sofa. 

"Um...b-but... Even if it's disinfected first if you put something like that down...down _there_ , it's sure to...to..." Jimin's legs are quivering and it's way too obvious now. He can't try to deny the pleasure he's feeling. He can't hide that Yoongi is actually turning him on. 

"Then we'll take it nice and slow. Okay?" 

"O-Once we're, um...done...will you promise me you'll wash your hands until I say they're clean?" 

Yoongi looks at him weirdly, "You want me...to wash my hands? And not before but after? I'll wash them before too, of course." Jimin nods softly. "All right." 

"Jimin. Why are you doing that?" 

Jimin is sitting on the couch in a fetal position with his head pressed against Yoongi's thigh. He's stripped down to just his underwear and shirt and all he can fell is anxiety. 

"W-well! If I turn around you'll be able to see everything!"

Yoongi sighs, "Not that there's anything wrong with that, I guess. Scootch a little more onto my lap, okay?" He pulls Jimin forward so that's over Yoongi's lap. (perfect spanking position) He moves the hem of Jimin's shirt up and pulls down his underwear. Jimin panics and pulls down his shirt, trying to cover his bare ass. But Yoongi is quick to get his underwear pulled down to his thighs and he's already running his fingers over Jimin's tight entrance. 

"You know... I wonder if it really _will_ fit in here..."

"N...No fingers..." Jimin mumbles, his face hidden into the couch. 

"I'm just rubbing on some lubricant." 

Jimin presses his mouth against his arm, trying to cover his small moans and heavy breathing. 

Yoongi spots Jimin's fully erect cock and he chuckles softly, "We haven't even started yet and you're already this excited?"

"I-I'M NOT!" The lubricant is cold and it makes Jimin flinch forward. "A-Al-ready?!" 

"Yes," Yoongi shows him the plug, which is always covered in lubricant. "I'll take it slow. Try not to jerk." 

Jimin looks at it with wide eyes, completely terrified. 


	10. Bonus- Yoongi, Jimin, and Mealtimes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a super short story that I find hilarious :) 
> 
> -Tae

Jimin's stomach gurgles loudly, catching Yoongi's attention. 

"Sounds like you haven't eaten in a while. That isn't healthy. You should at least eat something..." 

"No. That's okay. I'm all that hungry-" His stomach grumbles again. "B-Besides...If i ate something, I get the feeling you'd just stare at me the whole time."

"Who, me? Of course I would. Why wouldn't I?" Yoongi says. 

"I think I'll wait..."

"See you eat is rare. Of course I'd stare."

"I'll eat at home." 

Yoongi sighs, "Fine. How about a blindfold? Would that make you feel better? Then you wouldn't see my eyes."

Jimin puts his hands up in some kind of defense, "Huh?! N-No, that's all right! You don't have to go that far."

_All of a sudden my appetite has vanished..._

"But... I said I'm fine!" Jimin says.

In the end... 

"HOW DID _I_ GET THE BLINDFOLD?!" Jimin cries out.

Yoongi brings a spoon up to Jimin's mouth, "Here. Say 'aah.'" 

"IS THAT EVEN FOOD?! I'M SCARED!"


	11. It's Disgusting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the mercy of Yoongi's hands and words, Jimin finally hears the full reason Yoongi fell in love with him. The truth is such a surprise that Jimin runs away from him in shock, and it isn't long before his body starts aching for his tough, causing Jimin to soothe his own desire. But in doing so, he scares up memories of the traumatic event at the core of his compulsion.

"I'll take it slow. Try not to jerk." 

Yoongi presses the plug to Jimin's entrance, making him flinch.

_There's still time..._

_I can tell him that...I don't want to do this, and..._

Jimin keeps his hand pressed to his mouth while Yoongi works from behind. He then slides it in halfway, and Jimin cries out in surprise. He almost has to bite his hand to stop himself from moaning. 

"Well done. You're very good at relaxing yourself."

_Thanks?  
_

"It went in nicely," Yoongi says, tapping the ring, making Jimin flinch forward again. 

"Um! D...Don't move it... Please..." Jimin breathes out. 

"Okay." 

_It feels so weird having something...in there._

_He promised me he disinfected it but it makes me feel...queasy and tingly inside. It's disgusting._

Jimin's muscles automatically clench around the plug and he moans into his hands. 

"Just so you know, I wasn't the one who made it move that time," Yoongi chuckles. 

His face instantly burns up when Yoongi teases him like that. Jimin hates when he laughs at him. 

Yoongi taps at the plug, "Is this the spot?" He slides it in fully. Jimin lifts his hips up, putting his ass higher in the air. 

" _Aah..._ N-No..."

The plug gets pulled out slowly and the emptiness leaves Jimin wanting more. 

"Yo...gi..." 

He presses his hips back, trying to get back the feeling of fullness. Just the slight teasing at his entrance pushes him over the edge. He had been holding back the excitement for too long. Jimin mewls and cries out when his climax hits, full force. His cum splatters the couch and up his stomach. He slumps forward, trying to calm his erratic and heavy breathing. 

"I think we should let you get acclimated a little longer."

"N-No... E-Enough. I-I'm done!" 

Of course, Yoongi never listens. He slides the plug back in without a care of how Jimin felt.

Jimin's legs quiver and shake as Yoongi continues to tweak the plug. 

"It goes in much deeper now." 

He starts to pull it out and press it back in, in a rhythmic pattern. Jimin cries, _literally,_ and nearly chokes on his moans. 

"With you bent over my lap like this, crying like you are, it's as if I'm giving you a spanking, Jimin."

"Huh?" 

"I've been thinking... When you arrived, you brought up Taehyung on purpose, didn't you? You wanted me to scold you for seeing him."

Jimin can barely think straight and Yoongi is trying to talk with him while he's literally fucking him with a butt plug. Now is not the time. 

"What? Um?" 

Yoongi tugs at the plug, watching as the lubricant drips down. 

"Yoon...gi... E-Enough.. Take...Take it...out please..." There's tears prickling at the corners of Jimin's eyes and he can't help from sniffling.

"All right. Let's say I do take it out. Then what would you like me to do?" Yoongi asks. "I think by this point, you've realized what that is." 

Jimin tries to turn his head to look at him, but from the position he's in, he can't see Yoongi. "N...N-No, I don't know...what you..." 

"If you can say it yourself...I'll make you even dirtier inside. Personally." 

Jimin's heart starts to thump loudly in his chest. The tears are rolling down his cheeks and the plug is starting to feel uncomfortable. "I... I said enough! Take it...out..."

Yoongi slips it fully again, hitting an extremely sensitive spot inside. He pulls it out halfway before slamming it in again. Now, Jimin has had enough. The pressure from the plug and the clenching of his muscles pushes him to have another orgasm. He cries out, curling his hands into fists underneath himself. Yoongi's hand rests under his chin and Jimin's drool starts to drip onto his hand. When Yoongi finally takes it out, Jimin collapses forward, covering his face with his hands. His body is shivering from overstimulation. But also something else.

"-ry..." Jimin was now fully crying, trying to hide his sobs in the throw pillow. "I'm...sorry...daddy..."

Yoongi sets his hand on Jimin's back, but he's not sure how to comfort him. So, he grabs disinfecting wipes and cleans up the lubricant that was now smeared all over Jimin's ass. 

Jimin grabs Yoongi's wrist, "E...Enough... I'm...leaving." He sits up and when he tries to stand, his knees give out. Yoongi holds onto his arm and waist. 

_What? My...My knees! They won't support me!_

"Um... Yoongi... Sometimes I just... I just don't get what you're thinking. And that scares me. I don't know what you think of me...what you feel for me...I can't tell if you really..." Jimin pushes Yoongi's hand off his arm, "You can let go now."

Jimin walks over to the closet where his jeans are neatly hung up on a hanger. He slips it off and puts them back on. 

_Ugh... So sticky..._

"Jimin. Are you sure you don't know what I'm thinking?" 

He looks over his shoulder at Yoongi. 

"All I'm doing is what you want me to. _You_ are the one controlling my actions."

Jimin turns back around and starts to button up his shirt. "You're not making any sense. If you're just trying to shock me, please stop."

_What I want him to?_

_I want...this?_

_No. No...that can't be right._

Yoongi walks up behind him. "Jimin. Shortly after we met, you asked me why I was so interested in you. Do you remember?" 

"I don't want to know anymore," Jimin says quietly. 

"The reason I fell in love with you..."

"I said I don't want to know!" 

"...was because you're a germaphobe."

"Then...what will happen when I've gotten over my condition? Will you lost all interest in me?" Jimin laughs, but it's not a happy laugh. It's full of sadness. 

"A person's kindness. Their smile. Must these be the only reasons someone falls in love?" Jimin can feel Yoongi's presence and warmth over his shoulder. "For me...as warped and as strange as you are, you let me and only me get close to you. That turns me on like you wouldn't believe. You're my ideal. I'm very serious. Both what I confessed to you and what I say now is the truth. I don't want to hurt you. I _never_ want to hurt you. But I do want to dirty you-to _defile_ you. Both of those emotions exist inside of me at the same time. I want to warp you in all the same ways that I already am." Yoongi grabs onto Jimin's arm. 

_"Disgusting."_

_Jimin sees himself with his father when he was younger. Holding his hand, letting him pat his head. But he also remembers the day he didn't allow him to do that anymore._

"Don't touch me," Jimin says coldly, glaring back at Yoongi. "It's disgusting."

Yoongi continues to hold onto his arm. "You call it disgusting while trying to hide how hard you get. How does that make you any different from me?"

"Let... L-Let go..." Jimin tries to tug his arm away. 

"Jimin, I'm the only one who understands the true you." 

"LET GO OF ME!" 

Yoongi lets go and Jimin pulled away so hard, the sudden unlatch causes him to slam against the door. He glares at Yoongi and Yoongi just stares back. Jimin throws the door open and runs out of the apartment, leaving Yoongi standing at the door. 


	12. No One Can Ever Find Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Get an understanding of how Jimin developed his germophobia by taking a dive into his past. He relives the memory of the traumatic event that started his compulsion.

Jimin runs down the sidewalk until he can't run anymore. He's out of breath and it feels like his knees are going to give out. So, he doubles over, hands on his knees and sweat dripping down his forehead. 

_"I don't want to hurt you. I never want to hurt you. But I do want to dirty you-to defile you. Both of those emotions exist inside of me at the same time."_

_You've got to be kidding me! No. Just no!_

_I knew it. This whole time he's been looking down on me, making me do things I don't like while laughing at me. So why? What he said to me was terrible. Why am I..._

He looks around him, trying to find someplace safe. But what's safe outside? Nothing. Luckily, there's a public bathroom nearby. Jimin wouldn't dare, but at this moment in time, he feels like he doesn't have a choice. He can't function properly. He slips on a face mask before heading into the bathroom. 

In the stall, still huffing from all the running, Jimin's hand grabs at his throbbing erection. 

_Here? No. No, I'd rather die. Just breathing here is disgusting, even through my mask. But I can't go outside. I have to...to put up with this... At least until it subsides..._

Jimin eyes the toilet. He hasn't been in a public bathroom in years. 

_As...as long as I don't touch anything... Would it really be that bad? If I just avoid touching anything..._

_What am I thinking?_

_"All right. Let's say I do take it out. Then what would you like me to do? I think...by this point, you've realized what it is."_

Yoongi's voice echoes in the back of Jimin's mind and it's driving him insane. Mentally and physically. He can't take it. So, he undoes his belt and pants, pulling it down to free his erection. The fact that just thinking about Yoongi can do this to him is crazy. His hand wanders to his ass and he remembers.

_The lube. I can still feel it all slick and sticky back there. It's disgusting._

Jimin puts a foot on the toilet but his weak knees make him stagger and fall. His reflexes make his hand fall straight onto the toilet seat and he can just _see_ the contamination, floating around like black smoke. He stares at his hand in total surprise and disgust. 

_What's the point of wearing these gloves?_

_"Jimin. I'm the only one who understands the true you."_

**_I'm_ ** _what's contaminated._

Truly, the contamination that Jimin could see was never from his surroundings. It was never the bacteria on the doorknobs or the sweatiness of someone else's hand. It was him. It was when he touched things that he saw it spread. It would spread like a disease and Jimin couldn't stand that. He wouldn't stand by and watch himself stain the world. So, he developed an obsessive-compulsive way of stopping himself from contaminating the world. 

_"What would you like me to do?"_

Jimin could hear and feel Yoongi as if he was standing right behind him as he bent over the toilet. Just the thought of it made his cock twitch in anticipation. 

_I can't do it. I can't hold it off._

_"Jimin. I'm the only one who understands the true you."_

He shudders at the feeling of it all. He starts to pull at his jeans, to expose his ass, but for some reason, he can only picture Yoongi doing it. It was as if Yoongi was the one pulling down his pants. Jimin slips one of his gloves off before reaching behind himself, feeling the sticky lube that was still present. He pulls his hand away quickly, panic rushing through his body. 

_No! No no no! What am I thinking?! I can't do that here!_

_I...I can't do the filthiest of things in the filthiest of places. But...this feeling...I really just want it to go away..._

Jimin can feel Yoongi's hand on his ass. He can feel his fingers prodding at his entrance, teasing the tight ring. He can feel Yoongi's finger slide in and it makes Jimin's whole body shiver in disgust. Yoongi's finger slides out slowly, before sliding it back in, deeper this time. 

" _Nnh... Agh..._ No...I don't...want...So...disgusting..."

_"Just so you know, I wasn't the one who made it move that time."_

In reality, Yoongi actually isn't there. It's Jimin's own finger that slides inside himself. His legs quiver underneath him. 

_Ngh... Hard to do by myself..._

_"I'll make you even dirtier inside. Personally."_

Jimin pulls the mask away from his face. It was making it hard to breathe, especially when he's breathing this heavily. 

Something in his mind is trying to convince him that he isn't doing this to himself, it's Yoongi. The thought of Yoongi doing it makes it more pleasurable and intoxicating. Less disgusting. Jimin's moans seem to echo against the bathroom stall as he continues to finger himself, still imagining that it's Yoongi. 

"Yoon... Mo... Mo...re..."

_The true me... is so...so..._

"Mo...More...In...Inside...Yoon...gi..." Jimin mewls. He continues to cry out Yoongi's name as he tries to slam his finger in deeper, hitting a super-sensitive spot which finally pushes him to his climax. He bites his lip, letting a groan out when it hits, his cum splattering onto the toilet seat in front of him. 

~

"Daddy, hold my hand!" 

"Huh? Are you sure? You're in fifth grade now, you know that."

"I don't care!" Jimin says, reaching to hold his father's hand. 

"Won't your hand get hot?"

"Nope! It's nice and warm!"

"Supper will be ready soon." 

"Okay. Can I help?" 

"No, thanks. I'm almost finished," Jimin's father says. 

Jimin sits in front of the TV, watching intently. 

"Hey, Minnie?" Ueda asks. "Have you ever wished you had a mommy?" 

"Nope."

"Aw...why not? I mean, your classmates all have mommies. Are you jealous of them?"

Jimin looks away from her and back at the TV, "Nope. I have a daddy."

"Oh. So what do you want to be when you grow up, Minnie? Do you want to be a pilot? A pro soccer player? Guys who play sports are really popular with girls."

"When I grow up, I wanna live with daddy forever and ever."

"Really? But when you grow up, you're going to get married and have a family of your own, right? Then you'll go live in your own house and your dad will live here by himself. I'm sure he'll want to find someone who can be your new mommy by then."

"Then...when I grow up, _I'll_ marry daddy." 

Ueda snaps up from the couch, "You'll what?! You can't even do that! _Ugh_! How stupid are you?! Don't think stuff like that! It's disgusting!"

Jimin reels away and looks at her with sad eyes. 

His father slides open the door from the kitchen quickly, "What's the matter? I heard shouting. Is something wrong?"

"Um...N-No, it's nothing. I'm sorry. We were just...playing around."

"Oh. Supper is ready."

"I'm not hungry," Jimin says. "I don't want to eat with _her_."

Later that night, Jimin hides on his bed mat with his blankets pulled over him. His father comes in and sits next to him, looking at the ball of blanket. 

"Jimin, what's wrong? Ueda is a lot like you, Jimin. She doesn't have a mommy either. Things are very hard for her. You can be friends with her, right? I know you can."

Jimin peeks out from the blanket, letting it fall from his head. His father reaches out pats his head. 

"You know, when I put my hand on your head like this...I can read your thoughts. I know everything you're thinking."

"HUH?!"

"And right now, you're thinking you'd like to apologize to Ueda but you don't know how. Don't worry. I know that you're always a good boy to everyone." 

Jimin shuffles under the blanket again so that his father can't see him anymore. He pats Jimin's hand one last time before leaving him to sleep. 

"Hey, Minnie. Let's play hide-and-seek while we wait for the professor. Whoever he finds first loses." 

Jimin hides in the metal closet in the office. He watches through the slits to see where Ueda hides. 

"I'm sorry that took so long," Jimin's father says, walking into the room.

Ueda looks up from her 'hiding' spot and smiles. "Darn, you found me."

"Ueda. I didn't know you were staying this late."

"Professor, don't be so dense! You know I was waiting for you to finish. Minnie isn't here. He said he was sleepy, so he went home."

"What? By himself at this hour? I hope he's okay."

"Your house is only one station away. It's not hard to find. Besides, he's a big boy. I'm sure he's fine."

"I should still call to check on him." Jimin's father reaches for the phone but Ueda stops him, putting her hand on top of his. 

"We finally have some alone time together. Doesn't that make you happy at all?"

_Hm? Daddy is here? I can't hear what they're saying, but it looks like he found her._

_Can I come out now? He found her, so the game's over. Right?_

_Huh?!_

Through the cracks in the closet, Jimin can see Ueda sitting on his father's lap and his father kisses at her neck, sliding his hands up the back of her shirt. 

_What? What's he doing? Daddy?_

Soft moaning can now be heard from outside the closet. Jimin pulls his knees to his chest. 

_Why? What's going on? I'm scared!_

He tries to cover his ears but it's hard not to hear what's going on out there. He starts to fidget around, feeling uncomfortable. He tries to squeeze his legs together, to stop whatever was happening, but it doesn't help. 

_My classmate. He told me about this. He said when it feels all tingly and weird down there that you're supposed to do this._

He unzips his shorts and does what his classmate told him he should do. 

"Professor. When I'm finally old enough, you're going to marry me, right?" Ueda asks. 

  
Loud thunder sounds from outside and Ueda shouts in surprise. 

"Huh? What is it?" 

"I...I think I heard something in the upstairs classroom," she says. 

"What? Are you sure it wasn't just the thunder?" 

"B-But I heard there were burglars in the area..."

"Who would burgle a tiny cram school like us?" Jimin's father sighs and stands up, buttoning his shirt back up, "Ah well. If it makes you feel better, I'll go check. Wait right here, okay?" 

"It doesn't matter how much you love him..." Ueda says as she puts her sweater back on and fixes her bow, "You still can't do anything like that with him, can you, Minnie? Of course you can't. You're a boy." She stands up and walks over to the closet, opening it slowly. Jimin sits on the floor on the closet, with his knees pulled to his chest. He has tears streaming down his face and something sticky on his hand. "Hm? Minnie? Oh my god. What did you-? DISGUSTING!" 

Jimin quickly runs out of the closet and out of the office, leaving Ueda to her lonesome. He runs all the way home in the rain. Once he gets home, he switches out of his clothes and scrubs at his hands in the sink, crying as he did. 

_I have to wash every last bit off..._

"I'm home." Jimin's father notices wet shoes at the door. He walks to Jimin's room. He can't be seen under the blanket again. "Jimin. I'm sorry I'm so late today. I saw your shoes. They're soaking wet. Did you make sure to take a warm bath? Did you eat supper?" Only silence answers. "Good night." 

Jimin lies under his blanket in total silence, his heart nearly beating out of his chest. 

_I don't want to remember that ever again. I have to forget._

_But my efforts to forget backfired and I wound up reliving it over and over. Sitting in that locker...watching my father..._

_I can't ever let anyone find out..._

"Jimin? Why are you so far behind? If you walk that far back, I can't talk to you." His father waits for him to walk closer. "I think I'll make hamburger steak and gravy for supper tonight. Oh. You like hamburger steak, right?"

"Um...No. I don't. Not anymore," Jimin says. 

"Then what do you like now?"

"Instant noodles."

"Really? I know I'm not a very good cook but just a few days ago you told me you really loved hamburger steak." Jimin doesn't answer so his father sighs and continues walking. "You know, on school visitation days like this...I can't help but think you'd be much happier if you had a young and pretty mother you could brag about to your friends. _Er_...never mind." 

"No, I wouldn't."

His father turns and looks at him and smiles slightly, "...Oh." 

_I don't want one. I don't need a mother! I love **you** , daddy. I'm sorry... I love you..._

"Huh?! Hey now! What happened? What's wrong?" His father rushes over to Jimin's side and he covers his eyes, sniffling and crying. He gently pats Jimin's head.

_"You know when I put my hand on your head like this...I can read your thoughts. I know everything you're thinking."_

The closet and Ueda and his father and what he did flash through Jimin's mind.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" He smacks his father's hand away and cowers back, "Just...don't."

_"DISGUSTING!"_

"It's disgusting!" 

_Don't touch me... I'm disgusting inside._

"Jimin!"

Jimin dashes away from his father, leaving him alone in the walkway. 

~

_Touching something that someone else might have touched. Someone else touching something that I'd touched. Touching someone else... They were stupid fears. I knew they were. But I couldn't stop being terrified that somehow through touch...my disgusting thoughts would be exposed. At first, I was only afraid my father would find out...but over time that fear spread to more and more people until it was everyone._

Jimin visits the public library and searches " _can't stop washing hands_ " 

_Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder_

_Mysophobia AKA: Germophobia_

_"I think I have germophobia. What should I do?_

_I have been plagued with germophobia for at least the last three years. My symptoms are:"_

_It isn't just me. Lots of other people out there wash their hands as often as I do._

_Then...the fact that I disinfected this keyboard before using it isn't weird at all. I just have this disorder. I'm not strange. It's okay for me to be this way. There are others out there like me. I can be just another person with germophobia, and it won't be weird at all._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this chapter was a bit longer than any of the other ones. I honestly find this part of the story very eye-opening. You get to understand why Jimin developed his phobia and what started it. Some things from other chapters start to make a little more sense now... 
> 
> Stick with me here! Everything will come together soon enough. We're almost through book 4. :)
> 
> -Tae <3


	13. Such A Kid's Face

More times than not, we use our time in the shower to think. Whether it be about the stresses of today, the worries of tomorrow, or the nightmares of the past. 

For Yoongi, he can't help but think about what Jimin said to him not too long ago. The way he glared at him and basically ran away. 

_"It's disgusting."_

Suddenly, Yoongi touching Jimin was disgusting. That left a weight on his chest that he couldn't describe. 

For Jimin, he tries not to think at all as he scrubs his body, a little too harshly. His thoughts aren't something he wants to dwell on right now. If anything, Jimin wants to stop thinking altogether. If his brain could just _stop_ for once, maybe he'd be at peace. Even if it was just for a while. 

~

_Two months later_

While Taehyung is taking a small break from his work, he notices Jimin walking past the office door. 

"Ah!" He gets up quickly and nearly runs to the door, opening just as Jimin is halfway down the hallway. "Jimin!" As if he didn't hear him, Jimin continues walking. "Jimin!" Taehyung grabs Jimin's arm, right above his elbow. He yanks his arm away harshly. "Ah...Sorry."

"No, that was my fault. You just surprised me. Do you need something?" 

"Oh, uh...no. It's just been a while. I hardly ever see you on this floor anymore. How are you doing?"

"I haven't needed to take any sick days in a while. If that's what you're asking. I'm fine. You worry too much."

Taehyung chuckles, "I get that a lot. Um, anyway...it's almost noon. Wanna grab some lunch?"

"Sorry. I still have work I have to finish. Maybe some other time."

"Okay, see you later, then!"

"Taehyung. I mean it. You don't need to worry about me so much."

Taehyung cocks his head in confusion. 

"I'm perfectly fine." 

"But...these last several weeks, you've been..."

_Cold._

_Distant._

"Nevermind. You're right. I'm just being a worrywart." 

Jimin nods at Taehyung and turns away, "See you." 

_I haven't heard from Yoongi since that day. Although I haven't contacted him either. He didn't chase after me this time._

Jimin laughs to himself. 

_What's wrong, Yoongi? I thought you understood the true me._

_The real me. The ugly me. The shallow me. The greedy me. The carnal me._

_"You're my ideal."_

_Liar!_

_You lied, Yoongi._

_And I did too._

The rain and thunder outside is extremely loud. It rumbles the entire building and leaves everyone a little on edge. The news broadcasters call for a typhoon. People are warned about the heavy rain and the high winds. No one is allowed near the coastline, for safety purposes. 

Despite the horrible weather, Jimin is still at work. 

"Jimin, I have to say you've been quite a big help of late," Mr. Hyungwoo says. 

Jimin looks up for his laptop and stops typing. "Thank you, sir."

"You're so dependable I almost can't help but entrust more tasks to you."

"It's my job to make sure you have more time for yourself, sir. Has something come up?"

" _Er_ , well... I hate to ask this of you in this kind of weather...but SSK Company got in touch with me, and they absolutely must have the documentation by today. These are highly sensitive documents, you see. I can't ask a courier to take them..."

So, Jimin finds himself in the heavy rain, trying to find the company Hyungwoo spoke of. The cab dropped him off, but he is still getting drenched. He glances up at the sign, squinting to read the lit up letters through the rain. 

"Is this it?" 

Jimin gets inside as fast as possible. The rain drips off of him and onto the floor, making his shoes squeak as he walks. 

"This soaked in just the time it took for me to walk from the cab to the door?"

_Thank goodness I didn't wear a good suit today._

He peels off the rain poncho and sets it onto a coat stand near the doorway before heading into the building. 

"We're terribly sorry to have asked for such a rush. Especially on a day like today... Please give our regards to Mr. Hyungwoo."

Jimin smiles at them, "I certainly will. We look forward to doing business with you." 

Jimin walks out of the office area and towards the stairs. Just as he is about to head down, he sees the sign. ds

_Closed for cleaning._

"Really?"

Going against his own wishes, he takes the elevator back down to the first floor. 

"What a terrible day. If they had to close it for cleaning, they could've done it before I came..." Jimin mutters to himself. 

Outside, a bolt of lightning strikes, followed by a loud boom of thunder and Jimin flinches. 

_I should hurry back to the office before it gets any worse._

Jimin steps into the elevator and hits the first-floor button. 

_Ugh. I usually avoid riding in tiny elevators like this one if I can._

He can't help but examine the walls and floor around him. It's way too small for his liking. 

_If I had to share a space this cramped with someone else...I'd feel like I'd have to hold my breath..._

And as if nothing could get worse, it does. The doors behind Jimin open and his eyes widen at the reflection in front of him.

_Yoongi._

He steps into the elevator, facing the doors while Jimin stays facing the opposite way. As the elevator starts to descend, Jimin tenses up. 

_Have to...hold my breath..._

_Maybe it's not him? No. But... Why? What is he here?!_

_Stop. It doesn't matter why. I don't think he's realized it's me yet. If..If I can just get down to the first floor..._

_MOVE FASTER!_

Another strike of lightning and a loud boom of thunder. Jimin's hands fly up to the sides of his head in fear. But just as the lightning hit, the lights went out. 

_Oh no. Don't tell me..._

"A blackout?"

_It **is**_ _Yoongi. His voice. I haven't heard it in months._

Just hearing Yoongi speak sends shivers down Jimin's spine.

Thankfully, the power outage doesn't last long. Within a minute, the lights flicker back on. 

" _Hello. Control center._ "

Yoongi had hit the emergency call button. 

"Yes. The power went out and now our elevator is stuck."

" _I see. Please look above the call button. Could you please read off the service number."_

"It's 245964," Yoongi says.

" _Aha. Yes, there was a temporary power outage in your area due to a lightning strike. Power has been restored but it seems the outage triggered the safety brakes for your elevator, and they're still locked. We'll send a technician as soon as possible, though it may take a little time."_

_What?!_

_WE HAVE TO WAIT HERE?!_

"How long is a little time?" 

" _I'm afraid I can't give you an exact time right now but it seems your elevator is an older model and is not equipped with an automatic rescue device. Accordingly, a technician will have to come on-site to manually unlock the brakes and restart the elevator. Rest assured you are in absolutely no danger. A technician will be there as soon as possible."_

Time passes slowly and the silence that comes with it is agonizing. Both Jimin and Yoongi are probably too afraid to say anything. 

_It's only been twenty minutes, but it feels like an eternity. How long am I going to be stuck in here?_

Jimin pulls at the collar of his shirt. 

_It's starting to get warm. And stuffy too. I think._

There's another loud boom of thunder and Jimin flinches again. 

"Are you all right, Jimin? We have some time yet before we need to worry about lack of oxygen."

_Is that really important right now?_

"I'm...fine."

_Of course he realized it was me. How could he not in such a tiny space?_

_Now what? I...I ought to talk to him about...something at least. Something that can take my mind off of our situation._

_Yes. That's it. Small talk that doesn't require much thought..._

"Um...What brought you to this building, Yoongi?" 

"The clinic I work for has a branch office in this building. I work here twice a week. It's only been a month, so you wouldn't have known that," Yoongi says, still facing away from Jimin. 

"I guess I wouldn't. Um... Yoongi-" Jimin gets cut off when he flinches again from the loud thunder. 

Yoongi glances over his shoulder for a second, "Are you not very fond of thunder, Jimin?" 

"Ah...I'm...I'm not _afraid_ of it, if that's what you're asking..."

"Do you find it _disgusting_?" 

Jimin's legs start to shake and he feels super light-headed. The thunder and the rain remind him of...that night. In the closet. 

"Yo...Yoon...Yoongi...Um, I-I'm sorry, but... Could I please...hold your hand?"

Yoongi turns slightly to look at Jimin. "No. Don't you remember? I'm disgusting."

_Oh for fuck's sake._

"Um! B-But that-"

"If you were to hold my hand, it would only make you feel worse."

"But..." Jimin can hardly catch his breath.

_A dimly lit cramped space...the sound of thunder in the distance... It...It's making me dizzy._

"Something similar happened before, remember? On the subway. But I don't feel now what I did then. I won't ask you which you'd dislike less, taking my hand or collapsing onto the dirty floor. Instead, you must tell me you want me and will accept no one else." Yoongi finally turns around to face him. He puts out his hand towards Jimin. "Kiss my hand. Your choice. By your own choosing. If you do, I'll make sure you don't fall, no matter what happens. I'll be there to support you, even when your mouth says things your heart doesn't mean...forever."

_This... This look._

_He isn't making me do it...but it still feels like he's in control. He knows what I think. He knows what I want. Without me saying it... Without touching me..._

_It's like he can see straight through me. He doesn't need to touch me on the head. He can read my thoughts just by looking at me._

_"Jimin, I'm the only one who understands the true you."_

_He can see the ugly, twisted, disgusting me I hide inside._

Jimin leans his head closer to Yoongi's hand.

_But...if **I** touch **him**... Maybe I'll be able to read his thoughts too._

He finally lets his lips touch Yoongi's skin. It's a feeling he wants to bathe himself in. But, the phone in the elevator starts to ring, jolting him out of it. 

" _We're sorry to have kept you waiting so long. A technician is scheduled to reach your building within the nex five minutes. As soon as they arrive, they'll lower your elevator to the first floor."_

"Okay. Thank you."

Jimin legs finally give out from under him and he slumps into Yoongi. Yoongi just wraps his arms around him and hugs Jimin tightly. His fingers come up slowly and he ruffles Jimin's hair. 

"Well done, Jimin."

He tries to look up at Yoongi, "W...Why? Why?" Tears prick at the edge of Jimin's eyes. "Yoongi...W...Why do you keep praising me? _I-I'm_ the disgusting one... Me. Not you. Yet you keep... I... I'm sorry, Yoongi! I-I'm sorry...I keep defiling you." Jimin breaks down like a child in Yoongi's arms. He doesn't even care that he cries loudly inside the tiny elevator. He steps back but Yoongi keeps his hand on his shoulder. 

"Jimin, you think _you're_ dirty?"

He just nods, sniffling and hiccuping. 

"I see. Well, then...No matter how dirty...how filthy...how contaminated you are inside, I still love you. And since I feel that way about you, I guess that makes me dirty too. So dirty I'll never be clean again for the rest of my life."

Jimin just looks at Yoongi, his lips trembling and big, hot tears still streaming down his face. Yoongi smiles softly and wipes a tear away from Jimin's eye. 

"That's such a kid's face." 


	14. Praise Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seeing Yoongi for the first time in two months, Jimin takes a big step forward in their relationship-and his treatment-by kissing Yoongi's hand when asked. Then, after Yoongi fails to invite him home, Jimin chases after him! Could this new, more impulsive side of Jimin signal a new phase in their tumultuous relationship?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the start of book 5! Thank you so much for everyone who reads this and enjoys it! I love the feedback I get. I really do enjoy writing this. 
> 
> Hopefully, this is okay...
> 
> -Tae

Both Yoongi and Jimin can't help but let out a sigh of relief when the elevator is slowly lowered to the first floor. When the doors open, they see two technicians standing outside of it. 

"Are you alright?" 

They assure them that they're alright and head towards the exit. Jimin follows behind Yoongi, not sure what to say now since they're leaving. 

Jimin's phone rings just as they step outside. 

"This is Jimin. I'm sorry, sir. I was stuck in an area with no cell reception until just now. Because of a lightning strike, the elevator I was on broke down... Yes, sir, I did deliver the documents in time... Ah, no, I'm fine, thank you... Yes, I'm catching a taxi right now... Oh? Thank you, sir. Well, then I think I'll just head home... Yes, sir. Be careful on your way home too. Good evening." 

They stand side by side, watching taxis drive by. 

_None of these taxis are available. Great._

_Somehow it's become even more awkward than when we were trapped in the elevator. Still...I need to tell him while I have this chance. There's no telling if and when we'll run into each other again like this._

"Um... _Er_... Yoon-"

"There's one." Yoongi randomly blurts out, cutting Jimin off as he waves down a taxi. He opens his umbrella and steps out into the rain, turning around to look at Jimin. "Gentleman first."

"Huh?"

"Your apartment is far from here, right? Mine is, well...If I absolutely had to, I could walk there."

"You want to _walk_ home?" Jimin looks at the rain that seems to fall down faster every second. "But that's kind of far..."

Yoongi shrugs and turns back around, "There may be some available cabs along the other street. I'll try my luck there. G'night."

"W-Wait! Yoongi!" 

The taxi driver rolls down his window, "Uh...sir? Are you getting in?"

"I-I'm sorry. Yes, just... Just give me a moment, please."

_It doesn't feel right just saying thank you and then leaving him to walk home..._

"We can share this taxi. W-We could ask the driver to drop you off at your apartment first, and then I could take it the rest of the way home. Um, w-wouldn't that work?" 

Thankfully, Yoongi accepted the ride, so now the awkwardness has shifted to inside the taxi cab. 

_"Heavy rain is predicted to continue through the night and into tomorrow morning. We urge everyone to remain cautious of possible flooding."_

"Earlier, it seemed like you were about to say something. Right as I hailed this cab. What was it?" Yoongi asks as he stares out the window, his cheek resting against his hand. 

"Um...O-Oh! That? Um..." Jimin glances over to see Yoongi staring at him, and suddenly he remembers the day in the bathroom. The things he fantasized about suddenly pop back into his head. Jimin's cheeks heat up instantly.

_Gah! No! Why'd I have to..._

"I-I forget what it was. I'm sure it wasn't important."

_There's no way I can bring that up when I'm trapped in a cab with no way out._

"I see," Yoongi looks back out the window. "Then, nevermind, I guess."

_I knew it. I knew this wouldn't work. Why would it?_

"Driver, can you stop at the next corner?" Yoongi asks.

_Something I haven't put any effort into up to this point isn't suddenly going to fix itself._

The car stops at the corner and Yoongi gets out. 

He peeks in, "Goodnight." 

"Oh! G-Good night." 

_It never would've worked in the first place..._

"Where to, sir?"

"Ah...back to the main street, please." 

As Yoongi heads inside towards the elevator, he takes his keys out of his pocket. They jingle loudly in the empty lobby. He presses the up button and waits. 

"YOONGI!"

Jimin suddenly dashes into through the doors, completely out of breath. 

"Um! Y-Yoongi... You overpaid the taxi driver, didn't you? To cover my fare?"

"A little, yeah." 

"I-I couldn't ask that of you, so I want to return it."

Yoongi glances out towards the rain, "And you let the taxi go to do that? Really? It took forever to get it. You could have just asked it to wait."

"Shit...T-True... Guess I was in a rush..." Jimin rubs at the back of his neck, sighing sheepishly. 

Yoongi suddenly breaks out into a smile, "You really _are_ bad at this, aren't' you? Why bother lying to me? You don't have to."

"Me?! _You_ lie all the time!"

"I haven't lied to you even once. You just choose not to believe me. And you do that because there's something you don't want to admit to yourself. How cruel is that?" 

"But! Unlike you...this is all new to me. Of course, I'll mess up. When you told me you fell for me because of my disorder...I was really upset and really sad. But also somehow..."

Yoongi reaches forward and grabs a piece of Jimin's bangs, surprising him. 

" 'Somehow' what?" 

The sudden closeness makes Jimin tense up, and his heart starts to beat faster. 

"Uh...I... For the longest time...what I've really wanted was for someone...was for _you_...t-to touch me...to _contaminate_ me... No. That's not right. I-I wanted us both to contaminate each other...together... Holding on to these feelings all alone is too much. Too scary. You said you love me." Jimin looks up to meet Yoongi's eyes, "If I said that I love you too...would you, um...would you mess me up inside even more?" 

"I knew someday you would say those words. Eventually, you had to come to me. Because you know that I won't hesitate, even if you're crying. That's just the kind of person you are." Jimin's legs start to get weak when Yoongi moves even closer to him. "There's no one in the world who can mess you up like I can, Jimin." Yoongi steps back and beckons for Jimin to follow, "Come on. Let's go up." 

~

Back in Yoongi's apartment, he has Jimin strip down to just his undershirt. He keeps it unbuttoned all the way as he sits on Yoongi's bed. Yoongi is crouched in front of him.

"Um...Th-the floor..." Jimin keeps his feet above the floor, too afraid to touch them bare. 

Yoongi grabs Jimin's foot and brings it up to his lips so he can kiss the top portion. Jimin flinches. 

"Ah! D-Don't do _that!_ It's dirty!" 

Like always, Yoongi doesn't listen and licks his foot. 

"I SAID DON'T DO THAT!" This time, Jimin flinches so hard, he kicks Yoongi straight in the jaw. "AH! I-I'm sorry...that was, um...reflex."

Yoongi just glares back at him, making Jimin's heart skip a beat in some kind of fear. "Jimin, you want me to do unspeakable things to you. Things the germophobe in you would hate, but in the end, your masochism beats out even that baser desire. You really are a hopeless case. I admit, at first, all I intended to do was to help you overcome your phobia. Slowly, a little at a time. But the more time we spent together, the more I tried to see past your facade to the real you, the more I realized that what you wanted wasn't for me to help you get over getting dirty but for me to _make_ you dirty. I don't mean to brag, but I'm quite good at reading people." 

He pulls Jimin's arm away, so his undershirt falls open, exposing his entire abdomen and making his erect cock visible as well. Yoongi licks his lips in anticipation. 

"Just think, if you hate the _idea_ of it this much, then the actual act will feel that much more amazing." 

Yoongi grabs Jimin's knees and pushes them forward towards his chest. 

"H-Hey! What are you-"

"Hold this leg," Yoongi instructs. Jimin listens, holding his leg by the back of his thigh while Yoongi holds the other. "Now... Why don't you use your own fingers to stretch yourself. You can do that, right? I'll watch intently. Now stick your fingers in there and go at it. If you do it well, I'll even help you."

Jimin lowers his free hand towards his ass, and just as Yoongi told him, he slowly presses a finger inside himself. He can't help but moan softly as he does so, especially since Yoongi watches him. 

Yoongi chuckles, "My my. Have you perhaps played back here yourself already? You seem to be enjoying yourself much more than the last time." 

_No way... It's like he can look into my mind at what I did that day..._

Yoongi continues to watch as Jimin fingers himself and turns into a moaning and squirming mess.

"Well done," he says, smiling at Jimin. He then coats his middle finger in saliva before nudging at Jimin's entrance. He manages to slide his finger in, pressed against Jimin's finger as well. 

Jimin cries out, "N-No! Don't... Not... Same time."

"So tight. If we don't stretch you some more, I'll never be able to fit in there. Come on." He presses his finger in deeper, going all the way to his knuckle. 

_Never fit? Hasn't he already?_

"You want to rub right... _here._ " Yoongi rubs at the spot, making Jimin cry out. His muscles reflexively clench around their fingers. 

"N-No! _Nnh!_ D-Don't...do that...I-I'm-" Jimin voice gets cut off by his own moans as he reaches his climax. From the position he's in, his cum splatters up to his neck and all over his stomach. They both slip their fingers out and Yoongi grins at Jimin.

"Well done."

_More._

_Say it again._

_Praise me more._

_Tell me I'm a good boy._

Yoongi unbuttons his jeans after taking his shirt off, dropping it on the floor. Jimin's eyes widen when Yoongi pulls out his cock. It's long and thick and Jimin has _no idea_ how it's going to fit. Yoongi notices Jimin's reaction and lets a laugh out through his nose. He leans forward and brings his face close to Jimin's. 

"Shall we say we pick up where we left off that other time, Jimin?"

He moves forward and presses his length against Jimin's entrance. Jimin gasps and presses his body deeper into the mattress, bracing himself. When Yoongi finally pushes himself in fully, Jimin almost screams. The sensation is unlike anything, especially since Yoongi is much bigger than two fingers could ever be. The stretch burns and Jimin can't help but push at Yoongi's abdomen in some kind of silent protest. Yoongi lets out a sigh when he sinks in all the way. His face is blushed which is something you never see on him. 

Jimin's whole body is shivering with pleasure as Yoongi continues to thrust into him. There's a subtle sound of something wet and skin against skin as they continue. The overwhelming pressure of Yoongi's cock against his prostate sends Jimin into another orgasm. Yoongi leans forward again and tries to look Jimin in the eyes. It's hard because his eyes are closed tightly. 

"What's this? Did that make you cum again?" He wipes a tear away from the corner of Jimin's eye. "All the tension inside you finally let go, did it? It looks like I'll have to _monitor_ such releases going forward." 

Yoongi takes out a condom from his pocket and rips it open with his teeth. He pulls it out and slips it onto Jimin. 

"Yoongi...I'm sorry...N' more... I... I can'...I-I jus..."

"Already? I've only given a light thrust so far. That much hardly qualifies as sex."

With that, Yoongi starts to pick up a faster pace, knocking the breath out of Jimin to the point he can barely moan to show pleasure. 

" _Nuuh..._ Too deep... Too... _ah!_ " Jimin turns and nearly smashes the side of his face into the bed. "I'm gonna..." He bites down on his bottom lip, trying to hold back his loud mewling. 

One hand is holding onto the back of Jimin's head, Yoongi's fingers intertwining with his hair, and another hand holding his leg. 

" _Ha..._ I-I...feel...s-so...weird!" 

Yoongi's hand caresses Jimin's cheek, "What, did you cum again? That was far too fast. Does this feel _disgusting_ to you, Jimin?" 

Jimin grabs onto Yoongi's forearm, "G...Good...It...It feels good." 

Yoongi comes ever closer so that their lips are only an inch apart, "Good boy."

Jimin squeezes his eyes shut, fearing that Yoongi is actually going to kiss him. But he doesn't. He only pulls Jimin close, cradling his curled up body, and kisses his forehead. He reaches up and touches his forehead in surprise. 

_Huh?_

Yoongi smiles at him and Jimin's heart skips a beat. 

_W-What's happening? Why am I suddenly..._

_Wait a minute... Did I just say it felt good? Out loud?_

_Oh god! Y-Yoongi's... It's...in me!_

Yoongi suddenly grabs Jimin and moves him so that he's sitting in his lap. 

"Um... I...I-I've had enough..." Jimin can barely keep himself up with his arms so Yoongi holds onto his hips. 

"Why? Finally realized how much of a liar you've been?" He grins at Jimin before slamming himself back inside of him. Jimin cries out and almost falls backward but only hits Yoongi's thighs. 

" _Aph!_ Y-You're...inside... I-In deep.. A-All the... _Nnh!_...in..."

"Yes. Deep inside... I bet it feels good, doesn't it?" 

"I-It feels...w...weird!" 

Yoongi slowly pulls out and looks down at Jimin's cock, still covered in his own cum. "It's been twitching this entire time," he chuckles. 

Jimin falls forward this time, onto Yoongi's chest. "Yoon...gi..."

His hand comes around to the back of Jimin's head, feeling his hair again. "Yes?"

"Yoo...ngi... W-Want...in..." Jimin tries to take a deep breath while practically drooling everywhere, "I want you to fill....f-ill me up...inside."

Yoongi grins at him with a lustful look in his eyes. 


	15. This Time...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Take a look into Yoongi's younger years and it starts to make more sense as to why he wanted to help Jimin, although he won't tell him yet. 
> 
> Yoongi isn't the only one holding back something. Jimin also has things to say but he can't quite get it out right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't updated in a few days, I'm sorry! It's also sad to say that we are coming near the end of this. Currently, the author of Ten Count only has 6 books out. I've inferred that there is probably going to be ten, since it's a 'ten step list', although I might be wrong. 
> 
> This is finishing off Book 5 and we'll be onto Book 6 ASAP.
> 
> Thank you for reading, as always. Things are starting to add up, right? :)
> 
> -Tae

*flashback to when Yoongi was younger* 

Nishigaki turns around from his computer and cocks his head at Yoongi. "What? You're still here?" He glances at a book by Yoongi's socked feet. "You read that? I can't see you finding that interesting."

Yoongi sits up, "Is it interesting for adults?"

"Nope. It's not an interesting book, in general." Nishigaki walks into the small kitchen and turns on the stove, warming up a pot of water. "Go home already. Your parents will worry."

"They won't really."

"They just _look_ like they don't. Deep down, all parents do." 

Yoongi gathers up the books and shoves them into his backpack. He doesn't say anything to Nishgaki before leaving. 

"I'm home," Yoongi calls out, of course, to an empty home. He spots and note on the table and shuffles towards it, feeling bulky in his winter coat. 

_"Stew is in the pot. Snacks are in the fridge."_

_My mom didn't seem to care much about me._

_I wasn't abused. My family wasn't poor, either. But...whether I got good grades or bad...whether I ate everything on my plate or not, even if I ruined her favorite dress, she never seemed to get particularly mad or happy._

_"What happened? I'd only worn it once too. Oh well. I guess I can use this as an excuse to have him buy me a new one."_

_She was just indifferent. It was just with me, either. She didn't seem to care about much of anything except herself. My dad wasn't any better. He was so busy with work he was hardly ever home. He didn't seem to view my mom as his wife or as a mother, either. All he seemed to want was a woman who looked pretty. She was an accessory-a trophy-he could take with him to work events and show off. That's all. I doubt he cared about much of anything outside of himself and his job._

"I'll be leaving for a weeklong business trip next week," Yoongi's father says. 

"Oh? I'll let the maid know."

"Make sure she picks up my shirts from the dry cleaners."

"Mom, have you ever read a book called _'Living a trapped life'_?" 

She glances over at Yoongi, "Hm? No. Are those the kinds of books you read, Yoongi? Are they a school fad or something?" 

"Not really."

"Um- Never mind that. Darling, do you remember that dress you just bought for me? Yoongi stained it. Now I don't have anything to wear this weekend, like, _at all._ "

"What about the dozens of other dresses stuffed in your closet?"

"But the other day my friends and I......" 

Yoongi seemed to become invisible to them once again and he wanted to sink into his food and disappear. Not like they'd notice anyways...

~

Yoongi knocks on Nishigaki's door, his small hands holding onto his backpack straps.

Nishigaki opens the door, a smoldering cigarette hanging out of the corner of his mouth. "You again. Can't you hang out with your friends? You'd better not be ditching school again."

"Today is a day off." 

"Uh-huh." 

Yoongi steps in and takes off his sneakers, "Besides, my parents don't yell at me if I cut." 

"That's not the problem," Nishigaki tells him.

_Almost every day, I'd come to Nishigaki's apartment after school to kill time._

_A year or so earlier, I had decided I wanted to break a window, so I threw a ball through a random one. When the maid dragged me along to apologize, I found out it was his. After that, every time I walked past, I couldn't help but peek inside until eventually, I was visiting him every chance I got._

_Nishigaki was a quiet man._

"Coming over all the damn time... Now the neighbors are askin' weird questions..." Nishigaki mutters to himself. 

_He never looked at people when he talked to them. He'd mutter and grumble every time I visited but he never completely ignored me._

Yoongi stares down at the bottle of spray that Nishigaki makes him clean his feet off with before he comes inside. 

"What?" 

"What's this stuff I have to use?" 

"Rubbing alcohol."

"Why do you always wipe your desk and things with it?" Yoongi asks.

"Cuz I don't like dust and fingerprints getting on my stuff." 

"Am I as dirty as your desk?" 

Nishigaki laughs, "Not even. Humans are filthier than public toilets." 

Yoongi pulls the scarf off of his neck, "I'm not filthy. I take a bath every day." 

"That's not the level of clean I'm talking about. This is _my_ place, so you have to live by _my_ rules. Period. Understood?" 

He nods before heading into the living room.

" _Ugh._ I hate having other people inside my space but you keep barking in, day after day..." Nishigaki starts muttering again. 

"When I looked, your bathroom drain was really dirty."

Nishigaki almost flips around from his computer. "Hey! Don't wander around without asking! How do you expect me to clean it when it's that dirty, anyway?!

Yoongi's face reads total confusion. "Huuuuh?"

" _ARGH!_ WHATEVER! JUST SHUT UP ALREADY! OKAY? SHUT IT! Go read one of those damn books if you want-I don't care!" 

_Not much later, I discovered that he wasn't just a clean freak, he was a germaphobe._

Yoongi was watching a doctor/medicine TV channel about germaphobia. 

"Hmm. Sounds like Nishigaki..." 

He even went to the library, visiting the medicine section, and reading up on the condition. 

_"Insisting close friends disinfect their feet when visiting"_

Nishigaki sighs, "You're heavy. Go sit over there or something?" 

Yoongi turns his head. He was resting his back against Nishigaki, reading a book. "This time it's not 'stop touching me' but 'i'm heavy'?"

"Given you insist on doing this all the damn time, I've gotten used to that much."

"Maybe I should get a real job or something."

"Huh? Is your job now not good enough?" 

Nishigaki shrugs, "It's good enough, I guess... No. It isn't, really. I only got it because I wanted something I could do without leaving the house. Haven't been getting as many commissions lately though. What's the point of living if I just stay holed up in here...killing time and avoiding people until I die?" 

Yoongi fully turns to look at him, "You have me."

He just laughs. "If I ever had a little brother, I bet he'd be a smart-mouth like you....barging in on people and overstaying his welcome. What's fun about that, anyway?" His face grows dark as he stares at his computer screen. "Why'd you break my window? You have an expensive-looking backpack, and you don't seem like a delinquent. I'm sure you've got your reasons, but I'm not going to teach you how to be a shut-in too."

Yoongi pushes Nishigaki over onto the floor and climbs on top of him. "What's wrong with the way things are now? There's nothing interesting out there anyway."

Nishigaki's eyes are wide, "Whoa, w-what're you-"

"Aren't I the only one who's _special_ to you?" 

He then pushes up Nishigaki's shirt and licks up his stomach. 

Nishigaki shoves Yoongi off of him, "STOP THAT! You...you're nuts! What the hell's wrong with you?! GET OUT! GET OUT RIGHT NOW!" 

Once Yoongi is finally gone, Nishigaki sits at his desk, pulling his hands over the back of his head. "Damn it!" 

There's another note on the table underneath a glass with some money. 

_Order takeout for yourself._

So, Yoongi orders himself take and quietly eats by himself at the kitchen table. 

"There really isn't anything interesting out here." 

~

Yoongi stops in front of Nishigaki's apartment. He sees that the curtains are drawn and remembers what he had told him. 

_"When the curtains are pulled, that means I'm sleeping. Don't come in. Do and I'll kick you right back out."_

He leaves. But for days, the curtains are still pulled shut. They never seem to open again. 

At a bookstore, Yoongi pages through a random magazine, "I don't really have anywhere to go after school now..."

Just as he's about to leave, he catches sight of a familiar title. 

_The author of Living a Trapped Life's newest work._

"Ah. That one." 

Out of total interest and curiosity, Yoongi buys it and immediately starts to read it when he gets home. 

"Huh. This one's more interesting than the other one." 

He spends so much time reading it, he doesn't even realize it's half past midnight until he hears his mother come home. 

_I wonder if mom would read something like this. I should ask her first before lending it to Nishigaki. He'll ruin the cover disinfecting it._

"God!" There's laughter from downstairs. "He's just like your first husband. Okay. Talk to you later." She hangs up the phone when she sees Yoongi standing at the bottom of the stairs, book in hand. "You're still up? It's late. You should go to bed."

"Mom, do you remember the book I told you about before?" 

"Book? We talked about books?" She puts her hand up towards Yoongi. "Whatever. I like, totally hated assignments and exams in school. I don't ever want to read another book again." 

The front door opens again and Yoongi's father calls out that he's home. 

"Welcome home."

"Hm? What are both of you doing up?"

"Oh, nothing." 

Yoongi's father looks at the book, "Is that one of the recent bestsellers you have there, Yoongi? You certainly seem to like books for grown-ups. Did one of your teachers lend it to you?"

"No. I read the author's first book. I saw it at Nishigaki's and it looked interesting, so I read it," Yoongi says. 

"Nishigaki? Is that the same person whose window you broke? Isn't he the guy who disappeared?" 

Yoongi looks up at his mom. "Huh?"

"My friends were talking about it the other day. He's that creepy guy who lives down the street. He'd spend all day lazing around his flat, never doing any work. Dressed like a slob all the time. He was such a sleaze. Rude too. I heard a friend talking about how his neighbor picked up something he dropped, and he smacked her for it. But now everyone's saying he suddenly disappeared. Maybe he had debts and ran away. Or maybe he killed himself." 

"Whoa, don't talk about suicide in front of Yoongi," his father says. 

"God... I always knew you were weird. Don't tell me you were hanging out with that creep." Yoongi's mother looks at him disdain on her face. "I hope nobody actually saw you go in there." 

Yoongi walks away, heading back up the stairs and into his bedroom. He slams the door behind him and looks at the book. His heart was beating fast than usual. 

_Suicide?_

_"GET OUT! GET OUT RIGHT NOW!"_

_Was it my fault?_

_But...then that means I was special to him._

_I was special to Nishigaki._

_"I always knew you were weird."_

_Oh. So I"m weird, then. I'll have to fix that. But...how?_

_That's when I remembered the book I'd seen at Nishigaki's. I'd only flipped through it but even though Nishigaki said it wasn't interesting, the book was well-worn from multiple readings. Maybe if I read through it more thoroughly this time, I could learn more about him._

"Living a trapped life? Ah, I'm afraid we don't carry that one anymore. But if it isn't out of print, we can try ordering a copy for you." 

Yoongi ripped open the packaging when it finally arrived and he started to flip through the pages again. For nights, he sat and read through the entire book. 

He sat with his back against the door, the book open in his lap, and tears were streaming down his face. 

_The book was about someone's life as a sufferer of OCD and all the stress and loneliness that came with it._

_"You read that? I can't see you finding that interesting."_

_"Is it interesting for adults?"_

_"Nope. It's not an interesting book in general."_

_Fear of being entirely cut off from the world... Loneliness at the thought of being unloved by anyone..._

_I didn't have OCD or germophobia, but the book still shook me to the core. That's when the regret hit. I may not have been able to save Nishigaki, but I had been in a position to help. I could've given him the little push he needed to help himself. But I'd been too afraid of losing him._

_But this time..._

Yoongi bought a textbook called "Advanced studies in obsessive-compulsive disorder. He started studying it and reading it. Then, he was in college, studying it and reading it even more. He spent nights working for graduation. Writing essays on the subject. 

_This time for sure..._

Then, he was finally a certified psychiatrist. 

_I will be certain to save the next Nishigaki._

_Back then I was most likely the only person he had. I can't make that same mistake again._

_This time I..._

_~_

Jimin opens his eyes slowly and tries to blink away the tiredness. The blankets feel nice against his bare skin as he pushes himself up to look around the room. 

_Huh? This isn't my bed._

The birds are chirping loudly outside but Jimin is still in a daze. He climbs towards the end of the bed. 

_Um... Where are my clothes?_

He almost gets startled when he feels something dripping down the back of his thigh. 

_Oh. That. That's right. I..._

Jimin turns around towards and looks at the bedroom door. 

_Yoongi._

He finds his shirt and puts it back on, leaving a few buttons unbuttoned. He spots his briefcase on the floor as well. Inside, he keeps the journal where he wrote down his 1 through10 list. He opens up that page and scribbles something down before leaving the room.

He hears the sounds of rustling and glasses clinking from the kitchen. Jimin waddles in, wearing nothing but his button-up undershirt. It was completely wrinkled and only went past his mid-thigh. 

"Good morning." Yoongi stands in front of the stove, a towel draped around his neck. "You'll want a shower, I'm assuming? I left fresh towels on the washing machine." 

"Oh."

Yoongi looks over at Jimin before almost slamming his fist onto the counter. "Be honest. I screwed up again, didn't I? Even though I told myself _this_ time...I wouldn't make the same mistake. I hurt-"

"Yoongi?"

He sighs, "Would you like a glass of water?"

"I think I'd like some coffee, actually." 

"Okay. I'll brew up a cup for you too, then." 

He fills up the coffee maker with water and puts in some coffee. He walks over to Jimin while it brews. Yoongi reaches up and he touches at Jimin's hair. 

"Your eyes are bright red. Are you sore at all?"

"You know...I think I'm getting used to you touching me like this." Yoongi lets his fingers touch Jimin's cheek before he drops his hand. "Yoongi. You do nothing to me but things I don't like." 

Yoongi smirks, "Because, deep down, you want me to."

"I...I can't say I understand that part... But every time, it looks to me like you're just waiting for me to slap your hand away. It's like you're testing me, but at the same time, you're afraid of the results. Anyway... I filled in number ten on my list. See if you can guess what it is. You said once I did, you would tell me, remember? Your reason for doing this." 

Yoongi's eyes widen and he starts to get a little nervous. Instead, he laughs it off. "I already told it to you. I did it because I had feelings for you." 

"Yes...but there's more to it than just that, isn't there?" 

"Yes, there is." Yoongi pulls Jimin into an embrace. "I love you. I didn't just have feelings for you. I fell for you."

"Um. A-And that was because I'm a germophobe, right? But I'm-"

"Even if you weren't, I think I still would have fallen for you, Jimin." He smiles and pulls away slightly. "I deceived you. I did terrible, unspeakable things to you. And yet...you've still grown this attached to me. That in itself is so adorable I don't think I could ever resist you." 

Jimin's face breaks out into a full blush, "Yoon-"

"I'm sorry I fell for you, but I did. I love you." He grabs Jimin's hand and kisses his knuckles softly. "Promise me you'll never abandon me." 

_I'd meant to make a light joke telling him that for the first time_ **_he_ ** _looked like the younger one. But he looked like he was trying to hold back tears so I said nothing._

_Abandon you? Why would I? When he first pushed me away, it felt like I'd been the one abandoned. I thought I was the one desperately clinging to this._

_Why are you looking at me like that? And why can I suddenly not stop shaking?_

Jimin reaches up and puts his hands onto Yoongi's cheeks. 

_I hate people. Just the thought of being touched or, worse yet, being held by someone sends a shudder down my spine._

"Yoongi..."

_I would rather die...than let someone do that to me. I would rather die than let me contamination infect Yoongi._

_But..._

"I-"

He gets cut off by a loud beeping sound coming from the other room. 

"Your phone?"

"Oh. It's my alarm..."

"Do you have work today?" Yoongi asks. 

"No. I set my alarm on my days off too. I don't like messing up my daily rhythm. I'll go turn it off!" He quickly runs into the other room to shut his alarm off. Yoongi reaches up and feels at his face, surprised that Jimin even did that. 

After a shower and a change of clothes, Yoongi sets a hot cup of coffee in front of Jimin. He looks at the steam rising off of it as he brings it closer to him. 

_It smells nice._

He blows at it before taking a tiny sip. 

_What I really want is to talk to him abut my number ten..._

"Jimin, were you certain to wash thoroughly in the shower? Especially inside your anus."

Jimin nearly spits out his coffee and starts to choke on it, coughing and sputtering loudly. Yoongi just stares at him with a straight face.

_How did he say that so casually?_

"If you aren't careful to wash all the semen out, you might get-"

"WHAT?! I MIGHT GET WHAT?! I feel fine now, but is something going to happen?!" 

"If you do start feeling weird, please let me know." 

Jimin smiles awkwardly, "Okay." He looks down at his reflection in the blackness of his coffee. 

_I had always thought that as a germophobe just getting through life was twice as hard for me as for a normal person. But sitting here, pretending to be normal and drinking coffee, I don't feel any different than usual. Even though Yoongi touches me...even though I'm drinking coffee someone else made...I'm still me._

Jimin takes another sip of the coffee and sighs, "It's warm."

Yoongi can't help but smile back at him. 

~

As Jimin walks into work, he catches sight of Taehyung. 

"Good morning, Taehyung." 

He turns around, "Oh, hey! Morning. I heard that during last week's typhoon you had to deliver documents. That's rough as hell."

Jimin laughs, "You could say that. The elevator even got stuck..."

"Really?! That had to suck! The rest of us were stuck here too. Just getting home was a pain in the ass." 

"I'm sure it was. Uh, Taehyung?"

"Yeah?" They both stop in front of the elevator and Taehyung hits the up button.

"I'm sorry for the way I acted the other day. I think I was just...tired."

Taehyung cocks his head, "Why are you apologizing? Did something happen?" 

"Yes. And thank you. Let me take you out to lunch sometime, my treat." 

"I don't really understand but...awesome! Thanks!"

"I won't eat anything though," Jimin says.

"That's okay! Hey, Jimin? If there happens to be someone else out there you want to say that to...I'd go ahead and say it."

"Huh?"

"It's just kinda something I noticed, but, getting super cranky or feeling really good, changing hairstyles or habits... Those are the kinds of things people don't often feel up to doing if it's only for themselves. I'm sure whoever it is will be ecstatic you told them." The elevator dings and the doors open. "Anyway, I just mention that in passing, okay? Don't worry about it if it doesn't make sense."

"Taehyung..."

"See ya!" He waves at Jimin just as the doors shut completely. 

That night, Jimin opens up a new text message to Yoongi and stares at the blank screen for a while. 

"UMMMM..." 

_"There's something I need to tell you. Please come to the usual cafe next Saturday."_

"Technically that's true...but I haven't the first clue how to explain things. It sounds too heavy, anyway."

_"Good evening. How are you? I'm doing well. It's been getting warmer lately. Have you brought out your spring clothes yet? Since I wear suits all year round, my wardrobe doesn't change much from season to season. However, when it gets really warm out, it can be..."_

"NO! Trying to sound casual made that way too long! This won't do at all. Um...not this, either... Needs to sound more natural. More...artless." 

_"There's a store I'd like to visit, but I feel uncomfortable going alone. Would you be willing to come with me?"_

_Yes! That's it! There is no possible way I could phrase this any more innocuously than it is now! No... Wait! I need to decide which store first. Umm..._

Jimin starts to search for stores that are around the area on the internet. 

_We aren't dating, so we can't go there. Geez. Every leisure site I find seems geared towards couples. Is that all there is? I was never interested before..._

_~_

Jimin looks at his watch and sighs. 

_My bad habit got the better of me again. Whenever I get nervous, I can't help but want to arrive well ahead of time.._

"Jimin."

He turns and meets Yoongi, face to face. 

"You're early."

"Huh? _I'm_ early?"

"You got here first. I finished my morning errands early so I thought I might as well- No. That's a lie. I was so happy to get an invitation from you I couldn't help but come early."

Jimin starts to get extremely flustered by that. "Eh?! Uh! I...! I wish you wouldn't say such things in public!"

"I doubt anyone was paying attention."

"It still leaves me without the faintest idea of what to say in return!"

"If it's made you this flustered, I'm happy enough that I don't need a reply."

Jimin scowls at him before turning away. "Whatever. Let's just go."

_AUGH! This isn't going right! At this rate, it's no different than every other time we hang out!_

_"If there happens to be someone else out there you want to say that to, I'd go ahead and say it."_

_That's easier said than done..._


	16. I'm sorry

I'm sorry that this story is basically just a rewrite of the actual one. I guess I probably should have switched it around and added different things to it so it wasn't just an exact copy, with only the names changed. 

I know that makes the story boring, especially to those who have already read Ten Count. I really am sorry. From now on, I'll write more authentic things and put my own twist on the story if I do a parody or remix like this. 

Thank you for reading this anyway :)


End file.
